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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Planes Trains and Automobiles... Literally!!!


My son has moved to Cali...

Without me... My fault...

I haven't sold my house yet.

So anyway, he invited me to San Fran / Oakland while he's getting everything sichheeeated...

As in his new Employer is putting him up for a week of training in Oakland....

You in Dad?

Is my name Slim Shady?

Fuckin' Ay I'm in.

But I gotta get there from Houston which is no big deal right?

Leave it to me to make something relatively simple all f'd up!

So here's how this little odyssey went...

Left LJT in my truck and drove to Hobby....

Pretty easy....

Flight leaves at 7:25 pm CST...

Hold it - who picked that flight?

Yeah - you dumb ass - the Monkey in the Mirror.

Ok - so that's gonna be late but we're like the pig in the ham and egg breakfast - cause we're no longer involved like the chicken - we be committed like the pig.

Oink!

So flight leaves Hobby a little late for a stop in Albuquerque. No plane change... But a stop.

So I planned ahead and downloaded this OnBoard Player app so I could watch a movie on my phone. Thought I was tech savvy but I'll be damned if I could get the thing to work.

Dammit.

So I got there a little late for check-in so boarded at the back so ended up at the back of the plane in a ladyfinger sandwich on the last row.... Yeah I'm in the Bitch seat between 2 ladies... Which is all good.

So I'm fumbling with the stupid app trying to get my info in right and cussing under my breath and I finally say "F it" but I didn't really say that cause I sitting between 2 ladies but what I did say pretty loud to the 2 ladies was...

"Ok. If I can't watch a movie, we're gonna talk the whole flight".

Holy shit - you could just feel these 2 ladies praying for a miracle to get the movie app going but alas no suck luck.

So I turned my attention to the lady on the window seat and struck up a conversation.

Turns out her name is Beatrice and she and her hubbie live in Santa Fe and have their own ranch. Major cool lady and Santa Fe is my 2nd favorite city ever next to San Fran. So I'm in hog heaven shooting the shit with this Santa Fe lady.

Bout halfway through I feel my ears starting doing that messed up thing and I chomp down on my gum even harder but keep on jabbering away and since I feel like I'm talking in a tunnel I say to Beatrice...

"Man I feel like I'm shouting".

She says "That's because you are".

Whoops.

Anyway... We land in ABQ and the whole plane load leaves leaving 4 of us from the original flight.

I eat my 2nd batch of chicken breast and fruit on the plane....


Another 40 come on for the ABQ to Oakland leg but it's like an empty plane so everybody's got their own bunk....

Which is what I made out of my 3 seat row.

Got my carry on out of the overhead and made a pillow out of it and knocked out about 4000 winks and woke up in time to land in Oakland....

So I'm done with the plane part but I'm realizing that Pacific time is 2 hours later than central time - duh - and it's like 1 o'clock in the freaking morning....

Oh well....

So I go to baggage claim to get my bag....

Ha ha!!!

Bag didn't make it....

No problem - that's why I pack a couple of sets of clothes in the carry on....

But still.... Not good.... And never had a bag lost before so I'm thinking this is getting interesting.

What next?

Gotta get from the Oakland Airport to the Embassy Suites Walnut Creek which means I gotta meet BART....

Bay Area Rapid Transit - aka commuter train...

So I stumble out of the airport and get directions to the shuttle bus pickup to take me to the Coliseum BART station. And at this point I'm thinking I'm glad Southwest lost my big bag cause I don't have to haul that thing all over hell's half acre which is what I realize I'm about to embark on.

So I get on the shuttle bus to take me to the station and it costs $3 - exactly $3 - and all I got is a $5 and some quarters. So I feed the beast the $5 and sit down and this girl trying to get on doesn't have $3 either but she's got $2 so I throw down 4 quarters and told the bus driver - let's get this party started. I figure a little Good Karma going out in the World might help me at this point.

So we get to the departure station and I go on and try to figure out the ticket dispenser machine.... And I'm tired.... And this poor homeless looking guy comes up to me and says he can sell me a $9 train ticket for $3 and I just tell him - Dude, let me do this on my own.

Well - he keeps pestering me and I can't even work through the ticket purchase menu and finally I realize sometimes you just gotta roll with it and maybe this is my Karma repayment so I give the dude a $10 and he gives me $7 back and this blue ticket and I don't have a freaking clue whether it's legit or shit but it's 1:35 in the morning and the next train leaves in 5 mins and I just don't give a shit...

So I gotu blue ticket and it gets me through the toll turnstile and I get up to the departure platform and there's the lady I footed the 4 quarters to and I'm trying to figure out which side of the tracks and which platform I'm supposed to be on and here comes the Karma again..

This lady gets me on the right track and checks out my ticket and verifies it's a $9 ticket and I'm thinking...

Thank you God for looking out for children, old people an idiots....

Of which I meet the last 2....

So I look at the train schedule online and realize it looks like I gotta change trains....


Like orange to yellow at 19th St station

Yep! I was right!!


So I'm feeling OK now and I'm kicked back watching the stations go by listening to some good tunes...

Love this song cause I think it was written about me...


So I'm going to Walnut Creek right?

So I get off at Walnut Creek....

Way to go Dumb Ass.... You're still 2 fucking miles from the Hotel...


And what's playing?


Which is kinda what I'm thinking right now!

But as Chief Dan George said in The Outlaw Josey Wales....

"We shall Endeavour to Overcome".

So I walked over to a taxi and tell the guy...

"Just take me to the Embassy Suites Walnut Creek".

And he says "Yeah - you shoulda got off at Pleasant Hill. It's right across the street from the hotel".

I hear you bro.... Now just shut up and drive.

So $12 and 5 minutes later, I arrive at my destination at about 3 am CST.

Without my bag and what little sanity I had left but hey...

I'm in Cali.... So it's all good.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles....

So I sleep about 4 hours, which is like 7:20 am CST time but 5:20 Cali time and I'm ready to roll but my son has given me strict instructions not to wake him till after 6:30 so I knock out a blog post.

He gets his sleeping ass up and we go have 2 big cups of Cafe Verona down at the Hotel coffee bar and then do a 15 min walk on a hike / bike route and then back to the hotel workout room where we knock out a 20 min Hotel WOD that he downloaded. It's a Fran so 3 sets of 21-15-9 of Thrusters with a 45# DB Rx and burpees with a 2 min uphill run on the treadmill at a 6 min a mile pace. I worked up to 40s on the 9 rep set but my 195# Son of a Beast knocked out the Rx with ease.


So then to the Breakfast Bar for an order made omelette, cantaloupe, watermelon and banana and of course.... More coffee.


Back up to the hotel room so the Cali child can get ready for work - better him than me - and I'm feeling like the Little Woman sending Hubbie off to work.

I gotta Voicemail from SW about my bag....

Didn't get here till this morning and they'll deliver it in a few hours.

Glad I didn't need that today.

So I got some time to look around and I realize....

Damn... Old Blind Sow done found an Acorn.

I mean I'm an ABVI / Motel 6 guy most of the time....

But this place is NICE!!!





So there's a day in the life...

Houston to Oakland...

By any means necessary...

Did I ever tell you I do things the hard way cause that's....


Hey.... I'm in Cali...

And that's a Good Thing!

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