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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Race against the Storm

I made it back to the dealership just before the skies opened up. 

My truck wasn't ready so I decided to have a high carb post ride meal at the grill they have at the Gulf Coast Autoplex. 

Spaghetti and meatballs, squash and a salad with a Diet Coke. My body needed that as I rode 2 hrs 10 mins straight at a pretty respectable 14.4 mph avg. 

So I finally got my truck - they changed the rear differential fluid in it too. Said it was a little dark. 2nd time I've changed it in 92000 miles. Guess that's what happens when you drive a truck 90 mph everywhere. 

So I'm driving out and this little bird pops up on my shoulder or maybe it was a little devil - the little Sonofabitch that always cost me money - and he says "Eckkkk - wonder if they have in any new Mustangs - Eckkkkk"

Hmmmm - I don't know - let's go find out - and get off my shoulder you little shit - before I have to clean the same off my shirt. 

So I ease into the Ford parking lot and get out and .....

Oh Boy - this was a mistake!

Oh shit - a Mustang GT Premium in the new color Deep Impact Blue - with the Blue accent striped black leather seats. I got excited.....

Till I saw it was an automatic. 

I mean Who the F&@! buys an automatic in a Mustang GT 5.0?

But right next to it was this Hot Beauty!

And it's got a 6 spd manual AND a 3.73 rear end. 

Holy Rocket Man Elton John!

Give me a key and strap me in and light the fuse Baby!

Which is what I did. 

I took it for a test drive and it was like riding a Mustang and being astride a Fire breathing dragon at the same time. 

I gently worked the beauty through the paces just like foreplay and then in the final and winding access road approaching the dealership I let the hammer down and hit 120 in a very short stretch and she still had her nose up and was asking for more. 

I shut her down before the salesman messed up the passenger seat. 

We went back and I said I want one like that with a Track Package. 

He's gonna get back with me on that. 

I knew I shouldn't have listened to that damned bird....

Continuing the previous post....

Here's what the accessory holder looks like. 

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Also bought a camera holder. 

Then I loaded my bike into my truck and drove up to Gulf Coast Ford to have a new windshield put in and have the oil changed and do some other maintenance.  So I dropped off the truck and took off for a 2 hr bike ride and ended up at Harris Reservoir, a reservoir used as a backup water supply for Dow Comical.  It also serves as an employee and retiree fishing club. 

Here's the Kiddy fishing pond - remember this A & A?

People bring their RVs out there and stay for long periods of time. 

This right here is one of the reasons I prefer a 26" tired Mountain Bike for general riding because you never know what kind of surfaces you will be on.... In this case - caliche. 

View of the T-pier - a fishing hotspot for those without a boat. 

Rug Roh - dark clouds on the horizon - better head back. 

Not looking good!

So what do you do?
You hit the road and haul ass!

I was humping it at 19 mpg here which is pretty fast on a mountain bike. 

More in the next post. 

Another Day and a Ride from the Storm

Got up moving slow this morning but slowly built up steam. 

Ordered a handlebar accessory extender made by Minauro that allows you to mount your headlight, bike computer and other accessories above the level of a handlebar bag. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It's All About Image and Attitude

So how did your day go?

My hope and wish is that you gave it your best and you were happy with the way it turned out.

As you know I started my day with a walk around my subdivision and the beautiful site of a herd of Whitetail Deer as the Sun broke over the trees.

Then I threw myself at some housework and knocked that out.

I then did work on my #1 priority for the day which was getting my 19 year old daughter signed up for classes at the local Junior College, Brazosport College.

Based on my earlier post, you could tell that was gonna be a challenge and my lively lovely daughter did not disappoint.

After a brief but sharp conversation over the phone emphasizing the priority of her getting her ass to the college to sign up for the classes followed by a firm but fatherly text message threatening her with God Knows What, she went and got 'er done and signed up for 6 hours  of basics for the Summer I session at BC.

What do I have strapped to my chest? An f'g sign that says "Give me drama or give me death!".
Please God - Spare me both - I've got my own life to live.

Then I did a little more research and made a commitment....

To a flight from Houston to Seattle on Saturday June 9th.

Why you ask?

Because I'm doing Seattle to San Diego on my bicycle Baby!

That's right - you heard it here.

I'm gonna rip 1800 miles on the Pacific Coast of the United States from the top to the bottom on a self supporting bicycle tour on my Trek 3700.

1800 miles in 36 - 40 days.

Man - it feels good to say that.

It's the beginning of a Dream Come True.

More details to come on later posts.

So once that little decision was made I went and got my truck inspected which was kinda interesting.

I've had my truck inspected at the same place for the last 10 years. It's changed hands several times during that time but it's still in the same place.... Funny how that works....

So's anyways, I get there and the mechanic says "You'll have to wait. The Boss Lady went to get something to eat".

Which I seem to hear more and more these days.

Not that the Boss went to lunch....

But that the Boss is a Lady.

Whatever - I sit down and light a smoke on my pipe and jam the headphones in my ears and jam a little Lenny Kravitz into the headphones and kinda go into Coma mode.

Until this Vietnamese chick appears in front of me and her mouth is moving but nothing is coming out cause the only thing coming in to my ears is Lenny.... Until I hit the Pause button and all of a sudden this Vietnamese chick is speaking perfect English and is asking me for the key to my truck which makes perfect sense cause she's the Boss Lady and she's back from lunch and she's gonna inspect my truck.

Works for me.

So I hand her my key.

And she walks over to my truck, my shiny red Ford F-150 with the new Cooper tires and the shiny mags, and she opens the door and she calls the poor mechanic grunt over and starts talking to him and I can't hear a word they're saying cause I done hit the Go button on my headphones and American Woman is blaring in my ears which is kinda ironic cause I'm watching this Vietnamese lady yapping and gesturing about my truck and I'm thinking "Okay, WTF is wrong with my truck and how much is this gonna cost me?".

Anyway, she comes over and gives me a once over top to bottom cause I'm wearing my Cocksucker Cowboy hat and a dark set of wraparound Veratti safety sunglasses and a pair of shorts and shirt that basically says "Don't f*&! with me cause I don't give a shit!".

So this lady says "You have a stick shift and my legs are too short".

I just looked at her.

Then she says "You'll have to drive the truck for the test drive and I'll ride with you".

Well that's a first. Can do.

So I jump in the truck with the Vietnamese boss lady and she proceeds to tell me exactly where to go.

Hell - I'm used to this. So I just point the old Ford between the 2 poles and out of the garage parking lot onto a little side street behind the Inspection Station.

I take a left and she says we're gonna do a brake check. I was kinda expecting that.

So I'm easing along doing about 20 and she says "Stomp on the brakes!"....

So I stomped on the brakes and threw me and her against the safety belts and threw my Atlas and my notebook and half of my Keurig brewed iced tea onto the washout interior of my F-150.

She hollers "I said STEP on the Brakes NOT STOMP on the Brakes" and she busies herself with cleaning the tea off my floor cause I guess it's like born into Vietnamese chicks to clean up after stupid American rednecks.

So anyways we make it back to the Inspection Station without further incident and I pull the truck into the Inspection Bay and get out and she gets out and walks around the truck and first thing I notice is this ain't no short Vietnamese chick.

Hell - she's about 5'6" and got long skinny legs....

So I take off my Cocksucker Cowboy hat and scratch my head and just walk away.

I was just there to get my truck inspected.

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Oh - so you thought I was kidding.... About the housecleaning...

I got your housecleaning.
This is the way a man cleans so pay attention and take notes Bitches!
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First of all - you start at the top so the shit you knock off the wall and cabinets doesn't fall on the counter and floor you just cleaned.
Speaking of counters, I have marble tile - Breccia Oniciatta - to be exact and everybody and their brother tried to talk me out of putting them in ....
And I'm glad I didn't listen because I love them. It's just the difference between marble and granite - marble is softer but has beautiful and flowing patterns which I painstakingly matched up
and indexed so the patterns would be preserved when the tile was installed. And it was done for a fraction of solid surface. I still look at my counters and smile - Well Done Rebel Spirit!
Anyway - back to the cleaning.  As shown above, the counters are next.
By that time you should be down to the floors which have to be swept first.
Then comes my favorite part - I hate mopping the floor.... Grrrrrr!
I'm gonna need some help to do this. Let's bring in a little....
Then I have this little technique which I actually do love to do where I stand on a big towel and shuffle over the floor I've just mopped and that dries it and picks up the last remaining dirt in addition to being a good leg workout. 

Now let's knock out a camode...
And polish up the brass faucets.
And there you go.... That's how it's done....
Results shown are not guaranteed and are subject to the skill of the idiot doing the work.

You know - I've had a lot of people tell me I'll make a good wife someday.

And to that I say....

I'm already a Good Bitch - Bitch!

And no - I don't hire out - Bitch!

And speaking of the whole 9 yards....

Which I did in a previous post...
Know what it means and where it comes from?
You got 5 seconds which is not enough time to look it up on the Internet!

Time's up....

Giving it your all, putting everything you have into it, expending everything to accomplish a goal. 

Origin - WWII US aircraft machine gun belts were exactly 9 yards long.... When the pilots returned with no ammo remaining it was obvious they had been in a fight for their life and gave it....

The Whole 9 Yards...

Speaking of Steve McQueen and Fast Machines....

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Now that's a tough choice!

Kiss it Baby!
And then Sit on It!
So many choices....
So many temptations....
So many decisions....
2013 Mustang GT with a 5.0 pumping out 420 hp coupled with the Ford factory track package which basically turns in into a road race car 0 - 60 in 4.4....In Race Red.
The ultimate Beast - a Shelby GT500 which for 2013 is laying down the law and breaking it at the same time with a mind boggling tire shredding road ripping 650 hp that launches you from 0 - 60 in 3.9 seconds and a top speed north of 200 mph....
In Grabber Blue.
Can you imagine an East Coast to West Coast road trip in either one of these beasts?
Yes I can!

Cleaning House with Sheryl and Steve!

Doing that deep cleaning thing - cabinets, counters, floors, sinks, tubs and camodes, vacuuming ... The whole 9 yards!

Now all I need is Steve McQueen and a Fast Machine!

So... What's on the Againda for today....

Well my #1 priority is to get my 19 year old daughter up which is about like raising the Titanic remotely since she's over at her mother's house.
But I've deployed my Secret Weapon -
My God - if there's anything on this Earth that can get my daughter woke up and pissed off, it's my ex-wife so I figure I'll watch the fur fly for about an hour from a safe distance - like 3 freaking miles - and then just ride my bike over and get my daughter on her bike while avoiding the pieces of my ex-wife that will be laying on the ground and ride down to Brazosport College with my daughter and get her signed up for some summer classes....
The difference in semester hour cost between the local Brazosport College and Texas State is staggering....
$65/hr at BC vs $300/hr at Texas State so it behooves my daughter (and her parents wallets) to take as many classes at BC as she can.
Which leads me to another Life Lesson....
Sometimes Shit Happens...
And things just don't work out...
In life and in marriage...
And Kids are involved....
And there's potential and opportunity to really muck things up...
And make things miserable for you, your ex and your kids....
Here's a thought....
Throw your ego and your hurt and your anger out the window and act like an adult and a good parent....
And put your KIDS FIRST!
My ex and I did that....
And continue to do that...
And will continue to do that...
And how's that working for you?
A helluva lot better than the alternative!

Waiting for a Rainy Day....

To do my Taxes!

Never filed a Tax Extension before but had to this year because of work schedule. 

Since I got back into town, I been waiting for a rainy day to do my taxes but everyday has been Sunshine and Good Times so I've been doing the Outside Thing all the while knowing that nothing is certain but Death and Taxes...

Did a little search on iTunes as I'm app'd to do (ha ha) and got a lot of choices but decided on this little ditty for my post musical accompaniment....

Too bad you don't have an iPhone... For those of you who don't have the 8th Wonder of the World... God rest your deprived souls. 

So anyway, back to taxes and a rainy day...

There's one on the horizon....

So - Friday is Tax Day....Yippee!

Not.... But at least I have a Plan. 

And a Life Without a Plan is like a 

Life Without Sunshine....

You can get through it but...

You'll end up very depressed....
And Pale. 

Adapting and Overcoming...the freakin' Mosquitoes!

Stepped outside into the balmy Gulf Coast morning and was beset... 

By the 3rd reason I detest living here....

Heat, Humidity and....


So I turned right around, went back in the house....

And got my natural mosquito repellent....

My pipe and tobacco!

Yep - no DEET for me just some good ole Frank's Favorite. 

Guess those little biting MF'ers don't like a little Nickie with their blood. 

Hello Miss Sunshine!

I've already had a Great Day seeing a herd of Whitetail does and a huge buck in velvet chaperoning them across a drainage ditch that runs around my subdivision. 

Too Far and Too Fast for a shot with my iPhone but note to self....

Be there at Sunrise tomorrow with my Canon Powershot. 

It's a date....

Now let's Go Get'em Gang!