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Friday, February 27, 2015

Giving them something to talk about.....

I guess I've always been kind of an expressive person.

A shrink would probably say I was a person yearning for attention.... probably a result of some deficiency in my childhood.... whatever.

I do tend to be an extremist.

That's another shrink term for someone who figures anything worth doing is worth doing right....

So you put everything into it.

Back when I was a kid that used to be a good thing.

But in this day of "If you can name it you can tame it" and a world gone mad on counseling and anti-depression drugs and blah blah blah.....

Even a strength is a weakness.

So about 2 weeks ago I was in Liz P's Strength, Core and More class at Anytime Fitness and we were doing some elastic band work....

I selected the thickest band I could find.... a black band.... and was doing some overhead presses with it with the band under my feet and the handles in my hand and putting a pretty good stretch to the old black bands....

Probably more than they'd had before.....

Cause the f'g thing snapped on me..... went off like a .22 and the broken end snapped down and wacked my calf leaving a good welt on it.

Everybody in the class was startled....

I just laughed it off and said something about exceeding the load capacity of the band.

So this week.... same class.

Liz P comes up with something different every class - part of the reason why I like her classes.

She introduces ball slams.... which is a movement with a weighted ball where you lift the ball over your head and then slam it down to the floor and catch it on the bounce.

Now the first thing to understand is that these weighted medicine balls don't bounce very well.... at least that's been my experience.... cause I've done these things quite a few times before.

I mean you really have to slam the balls down to get 'em to bounce.

Well.... like I said... that's been my experience.

So anyway I was using a 15# ball.... the heaviest one I could find.

Now you gotta understand the demographics of these group exercise classes at Anytime Fitness and pretty much everywhere.

The average group exercise class attendant is just there to get some exercise..... they're working out hard enough but they're not killing themselves.  I mean most of the hard core folks stay in their CrossFit boxes or Boot Camp type classes or whatever.

I'm unique in that way..... I like to do it all.... and take it all seriously..... I load up the weights and the intensity in the group exercise classes just like I would at CrossFit..... No coasting for this hombre.

So's anyway.... back to the medicine ball slam.

I didn't think to do a "test" bounce on the ball I was using.... it felt like every other "dead" weighted ball I had ever used.

So I slammed that 15# ball down on the floor pretty hard expecting a dead cat bounce.....

And that SonofaBitch came off that floor harder and faster than it went down and hit me in the face so fucking hard I saw stars.

It surprised me, shocked me and hurt me at the same time and I let out a loud "Goddammit" while recoiling from the face slam I had just administered to myself.

Everybody in the class looked at me like I had 3 heads.... which is kinda what I felt like at that moment.

I quickly apologized for the expletive and Liz asked me if I was OK.... and I said....

"Yeah.... but I think that'll leave a mark"..... with my nose and face already turning red.

So I was stupid and nearly knocked myself out.

Today after my PIYO Strength class, I overheard one of the class members relating to another who was not present at yesterday's face slamming class, how I had done it.

She did a pretty good job of going through the entire process with the ball slam down and the face slam up.

I guess I'm pretty good at making a fool out of myself.

Sometimes that's what you get when you try too hard or basically just don't give a shit what people think about you.

Most people don't understand my intensity.... my approach.... my style.

Why I wear the workout clothes I do.... short shorts, tank tops, loud socks, bright colors.

Simple - I get hot when I workout hard.... the less clothes I have on, the less I sweat.... and I can't stand to have clothes clinging to my body restricting my movement.... and I like to see my muscles working while I'm working out..... I think the Mind - Muscle connection is critical and it's difficult to make that connection without seeing what you're doing..... that's one of the big bitches I have about CrossFit.... No mirrors.

They say..... "Oh you have to feel the movement"  Bullshit - I think most people (at least me) would learn twice as fast if they could see what they're doing wrong.  Anyway, what do I know... I can't even do a double under.

I like loud socks cause I like loud socks.... and bright colors make me happy.

I rode my bike up to Anytime Fitness this morning in the middle of a few snow flurries.

A guy going into the gym said "Man you must like to ride a bike to ride in weather like this".

I skipped the part about not having a car and just said "Well anybody can ride a bike in good weather".

I started to add.... "It takes a real idiot to ride in weather like this!".... but the guy had already went through the door.

Some people are comfortable doing things that are pretty middle of the road.

I guess I tend to approach things in a way that leaves me on the fringe.

Oh well..... at least I'm giving a few folks....

Something to talk about.

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