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Sunday, March 15, 2015

Living with Regret

Regret.... Not exactly one of those Positive Words.... and not something we usually want to talk about.

But let's give it a go beginning with the beginning....

Of Regret.

So where does regret come from?


From Middle English regretten, from Old French regreterregrater (to lament), from re- (intensive prefix) + *greter*grater (to weep), from Old Frankish *grētan ("to weep, mourn, lament"; from Proto-Germanic *grētaną (to weep)), and Old Frankish *grēotan (to cry, weep), from Proto-Germanic *greutaną (to weep, cry), from Proto-Indo-European *ghrew- (to weep, be sad), equivalent to re- +‎ greet. Cognate with Middle High German grāzan (to cry), Old English grǣtan (to weep, greet), Old English grēotan (to weep, lament), Old Norse gráta (to weep, groan), Gothic 𐌲𐍂𐌴𐍄𐌰𐌽 (grētanto weep).

And What does it Mean?


  1. Emotional pain on account of something done or experienced in the past, with a wish that it had been different; a looking back with dissatisfaction or with longing.  [quotations ▼]
  2. (obsolete) Dislike; aversion.


  1. To feel sorry about (a thing that has or has not happened), afterthink: to wish that a thing had not happened, that something else had happened instead.  [quotations ▼]
    He regretted his words.
  2. (more generally) To feel sorry about (any thing).
    regret that I have to do this, but I don't have a choice.

    Nearly everything I write about on this blog is from my own experiences.  It's not written for adoration or acclaim or sympathy or criticism but in most cases for just plain ole communication or in the hopes that it may help someone..... 

    In some cases, it may help someone because they read something I write and say "Look at that Stupid Fool.... I'm definitely not gonna do that!" 

    So let's get on with this, shall we.... let's talk about Regret.

    One of the things I appreciate about being middle aged is that I have more time....

    More time to think.

    The good thing about having time to think....

    Is that it gives you time to think.

    The bad thing about having time to think....

    Is that it gives you time to think.

    That's one of the big issues with middle age is that you actually have time to get your head up and look around you.... at your life and your accomplishments....

    And your failures.

    In most cases, when you're in your 50's, your career is winding down, the kids are raised, the hills have been climbed or fallen down from...

    And you get to think about What Might Have Been....  What You Could've Done Differently.... What You Regret the Most.

    Let me just lay it on the line for you.

    I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.... In fact, when I look at major accomplishments and major failures, I'd have to say I'm batting less than 50%.

    Oh, I've done OK in a few areas.... got a good education, did OK with my career.

    But with the really important stuff, the People Stuff.... I've failed.

    And it's the People Stuff.... with the People I should care about the most.... it's those failures that affect me the most....

    That I regret the most.

    Because it's when you hurt or disappoint the ones you love that you do the most damage.

    To them....

    And to yourself.

    For me it's too late on a lot of fronts to "fix" the failures.

    I just have to accept what has happened, try to learn from it and try not to do it again.

    A devout Christian would probably tell me..... "You have to forgive yourself".

    That's a little too easy for me.... I think you have to Live with Your Regret.

    You need to suffer from it enough to realize how painful it is so that it forges a Resolve in You to....


    To Live with Regret by Learning what Regret can Teach You.

    Do some Honest Self Analysis.

    What, in the past, has caused you to act in a way that led to you doing something you regretted?

    Was it Greed?  Was it Lust?  Was it Selfishness? Envy? Jealousy? Overwork? Unemployment? Substance Abuse?  Hanging with the Wrong Crowd?

    Find what causes you to hurt yourself and the ones you care about.

    Live with Honor, Hope and Satisfaction instead of Regret.

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