Altered State 3

and went into their little eating area and wolfed down that whole bowl of food in about 2 minutes... ordered a burrito - same results...ordered another FP - down it went... then I sat there & wrote down what I wanted to eat for the next 2 days & bought it. I had gone into survival mode just picking a point to get to and moving toward it sometimes with power and grace .... other times just weaving in on the last gear on the last gut I had left... then eating and sleeping... something else happened... I've talked a lot about finding and sustaining hope... that was the 1st step... but something else happened out here... something that I've needed for a long time - I let go... I lost control... that's it... I quit worrying about... the 18 wheeler behind me... what motel I was gonna stay at... whether the lights snaking their way up a dark remote dirt road in New Mexico was rescue or
robbery or worse... I started trusting others and myself expecting the best and not being disappointed...