http://willsonwheels.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-i-rode-off-into-it.html
When we left off, our stupid and stubborn cyclist gone mad was at the top of a hill on 119 just west of 84 heading toward the village of Anton Chico and the rear tire was feeling a little mushy.... yeah it's a sinking feeling that hits a cyclist right in the pit of the stomach.... you look down slightly rearward past the seat.... past your feet.... past the rear of the frame and see what used to be a fat inflated tire slowly turning into a pancake....
Oh well, it's one of the hazards of riding a bike... flat tires... you gotta deal with it.... but for me it's extra special... I've got to go through this entire decloaking, dehousing, unbungee cording, unpacking, scatter my life out on the side of the road process to even get to the point where I'm ready to fix the flat....
I know.... I over dramatize everything.... that's just the way I am... but I'm pretty sure if you had pedaled for 5 hours and knew what was in front of you and had to go through the process I was about to have to go through.... you'd probably just sit down on the side of the road... whimper a few minutes.... then stand up and assume an erect standing position.... look to the heavens and say "Beam me up Scottie!".
But out here.... in the middle of nowhere, you just do it....so I start the process.
I've already told you and you've seen in many of the pics the Action Packer on the back of the bike and you know it's got at least 20 - 25 lbs of stuff in it.... so anytime I stop I can't just get off the back and push down the kickstand and let the bike stand on its own.... that thing would fall over so fast it would make your head spin.... any time I stop I have to continue to straddle the bike with my legs clamped together holding the bike up....
If there's a tree, sign post or guard rail where I stop, I will unstraddle the bike and roll it over and carefully prop it up against the vertical support with contact with the handgrip on the handlebar and the side of the Action Packer.... that's the most stable way to leave the bike.... that's the only way to leave the bike to keep it from falling over and possibly damaging the bike (derailleurs, spokes, etc) or something inside the Action Packer.
Where I had the flat, there was no trees on the edge of the road, no sign posts, no guard rail... so I had to maintain straddling the bike with my legs clamped together, unbuckle my backpack, lay it down on the ground, then unstraddle the bike and let the bike lay over on the backpack....
To make things worse the road had basically no shoulder and there were all kinds of stickers and cockleburrs just waiting to grab onto anything you set on the ground off the pavement so I basically had to do everything on the side of the pavement.
I get the bike laid over and get all the items I need out of the Bell handlebar bag - tube, Genuine Innovation bike kit, cotton gloves....
Then I unclasp the rear brakes, stand the bike up and then pull the front of the bike up in the air and walk it over the back wheel, thus turning the bike upside down with it resting on the front handlebars and the Action Packer.... in this position the Action Packer makes the whole thing real stable cause it's a nice 2' wide surface for the bike to set on.
I work the gear select mechanism to get it in the outside gear on the back wheel - this gives you the most movement in the bike chain to allow removal of the rear wheel. Then I unclasp the quick disconnect rear axle screw and pull the whole rear tire out.
First thing I do is slowly rotate the tire while looking for obvious sources of the flat - glass, nail, screw, thorn, etc. - nothing there.
Then I get the tire lever out of the Genuine Innovation kit and lever one side of the tire off the rim and remove the tube..... again I look at the tube for obvious signs of the leak... don't see anything.
Then I inspect the inside of the tire itself... nothing there.... so whatever it was it's not still there.
So then I just reverse the process.....
Get out the new tube, use the Genuine Innovation air inflation tool to put a little air in the tube to round it out a little bit so it won't get pinched between the tire and the rim when I put it back in.
I do that, make sure the valve stem is nice and straight, check and make sure the tube is not pinched anywhere on the circumference of the rim and then work the displaced tire edge back onto the rim.
I air the tire back up to the maximum the Genuine Innovation CO2 cartridge will go which is about 35 lbs..... far below what I need the tire pressure at considering the load I'm carrying.
I then clasp the chain just below the derailleur with my left hand and pull it to back toward me to create a "hole" for the gear cassette of the rear rim to slip into and reinstall the entire rear rim / tube assembly back into the slots and tighten up the quick connect nut and reconnect the rear brakes.
Flip the bike back upright, lean it over on the backpack, use the hand pump (about 100 strokes) to increase the pressure from the 30 - 35 lbs the CO2 cartridge got it to up to the minimum required pressure with this load of about 45 lbs. Ideally, with the load I'm carrying I should have about 55 lbs in that rear tire but I just couldn't get it there with the hand pump.
So while balancing the bike against my body I:
- put the cotton gloves and Genuine Innovation bike kit back in the Bell handlebar bag.
- reach down and pick up all the items that were bungeed to the top of the Action Packer.
- get them balanced on the top of the Action Packer
- reach down get the bungee cords and stretch and clasp them around the Action Packer and around the aformentioned items....
- then reach down and grab the 35 lb back pack off the ground (while still balancing the bike against me cause if I let go of it, it's gonna whirl like a mad bull on a matador) and get the backpack on and strapped and adjusted.
- reach down and get my helmet and put it on.
- put my gloves back on.
But that's what it's all about when you're out in it..... you deal with stuff.... you just kinda shrug your shoulders and say "Let's get at it"..... I mean it's not like you can call a wrecker or a Trek roadside assistance crew.... ain't no freakin' AAA out here....
... so off I go.... west on 119 toward Anton Chico.... on an underinflated rear tire.... down to 2 spare tubes..... it's probably about 4 pm now.... and I still ain't found Joe's road.....the one that's got locked gates on it....
.... so I ride west into the setting sun.... into uncertainty....well that's not true....
there is certainty....
certainty that I don't have a good cell phone signal....
certainty that I had no map of this mythical route....
certainty that I'll be riding far after dark to get to VSP even if I find Joe's Rd.....
certainty that I was doing something stupid....
that I would remember for the rest of my life....
certainty that there was something out there I hadn't seen before.....something was there for me to DISCOVER!
.... so over the hills I go and come over one and there below me to my right lies the little village of Anton Chico.... now we're making progress!
I ease down the hill toward Anton Chico and try to wave down a passing local in a truck and he just keeps on going....probably one of the guys with the locked gates....
I ease down a little further and flag down another guy.... this guy stops behind me and I wheel around and come up to 'em and do the whole smile / introduction / handshake thing that has never failed and it works again.... I meet Lindsey and ask him about Joe's road.
He says "yeah there's a route but it may have some locked gates and there's quite a few roads coming off the route and coming into it.... kind of a difficult to route to pick your way through unless you've done it a few times."
I ask him where the beginning of Joe's Rd is and he gives me instructions about like "you go down 'bout 1/2 a mile past the guardrails and the school... come to a yellow building take a left...go down 'bout a mile and look for some dempsters.... the road starts there."
Don't get me wrong... they're good instructions if you've been that way a couple of times... so I write down the directions say good bye and pedal my way through the little village of Anton Chico.
I've gone through about the first 3 or 4 turns of the instructions and things start getting a little muddled... so I pull over and flag down this lady in an SUV and ask her about Joe's Road...
She says "Oh yeah.... go down about a half a mile.... and you'll see some dempsters" (Ahaaa... the dempsters....there's the common denominatour)... and then she says and "there's a trailer there too."
That's kinda the way directions are.... you string them together from person to person.... getting a little more data each time and there you are.... looking at the dempsters and the trailer....
..... and Joe's Rd.....
Well it's paved.... at least for now....and it's going west.... which is the right direction.... so we're set.... 12 - 15 miles @ 6 miles per hour.... that's 2 - 2 1/2 hrs... I can do that.... I got that much left....Hehh....I knew I could do this!
.... and so I started down Joe's Road .... and into the Jaws of the Beast.... only I didn't know it at the time.
After a mile or so, the paved road turned into a dirt road that went over a cattleguard.... I sent a pic and a post about that time and commented on turning my cell phone off because the battery was low..... ding ding....that's the bell of danger ringing!
About that time I was passed by a truck but I was too busy working on my VZW Navigator to work to stop the truck and ask for further instructions.... bad mistake.... never take technology over talking to a local... never! But I did..... ding ding ding.... the bell is tolling... for Whom.... for this dumb ass riding this bicycle off into the middle of nowhere!
Shortly after that....I encountered a fork in the road.... I took the left fork because it looked like it maintained a westerly direction... into the setting sun which was getting lower and lower.... didn't know it at the time and still don't know but suspect that that fork was the final little ruse that this whole maze would throw me to get me off the track (whatever the track was) and get me going in the direction of NO RETURN!
I'm not really thinking about all this at the time cause I'm not lost.... you know that's what you tell your conscious mind when your subconscious mind knows otherwise... but besides that I'm just enjoying myself....
I've been climbing ever since I left Anton Chico and I don't know how high I am but I've got snow on the ridges on both sides of me and I can look back and see a long ways....
So finally I come over this last rise and I turn on my cell phone and check my VZW Navigator and it's working and it says I'm on CR 4N and I need to take a left on CR 4O at the bottom of this big hill....Yay... I've got my bearings I know where I'm at.... I even say that in the post....
How's that Pink Floyd song go.... "We don't need no education.... We don't need no forced control....all it is is just Another Brick in the Wall"..... yep what I was doing was just bricking myself into a room I couldn't get out of.....
But man - was I having a good time doing it!
So I come flying down off this hill...(well I wasn't flying but I was going faster than I should)... this really rocky steep hill....dun dun dun dun....just another brick in the wall....
NEVER NEVER go fast down a steep rocky road.... ease down the damn thing.... take your time.... you'll reduce the risk of a fall or damaging your equipment.... or getting a flat.... please don't say flat tire!
So I get down to the bottom of the hill.... and naturally I've got no signal... but I've got a road coming off CR 4N... must be CR 4O.... but it's got a barbed wire gate across it.... but it's not locked.... so that's OK right?
It's just meant to keep the cows in the pasture.... not to keep stupid roving bicyclist out.... right?
Right.... so what do I do?
I lift my bicycle w/ Action Packer and 25lbs in it....over the barbed wire gate and proceed down CR4O.... well I guess it's CR4O.... I mean how the hell would I know... I ain't seen a freakin' sign since Anton Chico!
So bye bye CR4N and hello CR4O!
Now don't that look grand? I mean take a look at that road and where it's going.... and I was riding down this sumbeech with a bicycle with a 35 lb backpack and another 25 lbs in an Action Packer on the back.... so guess what happens at about the bottom of the hill you see?
Yep - you guessed it - FLAT CITY!
You see now what I was trying to describe before... and now I ain't doing this on the side of a road going into a little village.... I'm doing this on a dirt road going to nowhere!
You can kinda see it in this picture....it's just now starting to soak in....I'm lost.... I ain't admitted it.... but I'm beginning to get a little concerned! That road leading to nowhere behind me.... that's the road my mind took about 10 minutes before this picture was taken....
Kinda gives some real meaning to the expression...."He lost his mind".... yep that thing went down Joe's Road!
Now in this picture... you see the last transition.... I've gone from losing my mind to just plain freaking crazy!
I'm squared off, bowed up, shoulders back, head up and talking trash... that all you got Mother Nature!
Screw you... I got the flat fixed.... I'm 'bout to flop this Red Mule back upright, mount and ride all over your Ass!
See - I told you I was crazy!
So that's what I did... I kept on riding...
I just kept on riding.....and it's getting dark now....Dark... Screw the Dark... I got a headlight on my bike... I got a headlight on my helmet.... I got your Dark hanging!
I've now moved to the next level of Insanity!
... as I watch the sun set over the back of the Beast....
and I go through another gate.... a green 2" pipe gate.... but it's not locked either... so it's OK... right....
enter the next level..... it's kinda like a video game.... the levels just keep getting harder and harder and I just keep blasting through them....
.....getting myself more and more entangled in the web.....going in and out of the serpents on Medusa's head....
Oh and you see that bull on the other side of the gate.... he was in one pasture (separated by the gate - the unlocked gate) and the cows were in the other pasture on my side of the gate....and that was a good thing....
.... cause that dude was bellowing and snorting and I think he was ready to mount something..... and in my weakened and overloaded condition trying to pedal down a sandy dirt road, I'd probably been the first thing he caught...
Man wouldn't that have just topped things off.... geez - bad choice of words.... anyway the image in my mind's eye kinda scares me.... glad I was on the other side of the gate... I'll just leave it at that...
So what's on the other side of the gate?
Yep.... more of Joe's Road.... the road that never ends.... the road to my demise....
The other thing that really bothered me was I knew that with the setting sun on my right that this road was going south not west.... that's not good... I needed to go west my son!
So I continued to go South on Joe's Road.... till I got to...
A LOCKED GATE!
No picture... hell it was way dark by now... I done doubled back a couple of times... went up and down this one hill and down into this one canyon about 3 times and finally made my final thrust down Joe's Road to a locked gate with a sign "Arroyo Del Potrillo Ranch".
Finally it dawned on me at 8:30 at night out under the stars and the falling temperatures.... I'm lost!
Any rehabilitation from any mental illness goes through stages.....at this point... I was entering the "realization" stage....
Yep... I've been a bad boy... I've done a naughty thing... now how do I get myself out of this?
Lost Rule #1 (at least for me) is be prepared to be lost... kinda sounds stupid but it's not... I wouldn't have gone off on this little stupid trek if I wasn't prepared to stay overnight or maybe 2 overnights.... I had water, food, 15 deg sleeping bag, cold weather clothes.... so I was prepared.
Somewhere in here I had warmed up my dead cell phone battery enough to make a quick 20 second call to my wife to let her know I was lost but was OK and was not gonna make it to Villanueva State Park but would stay out here overnight and figure it out in the morning.....
First sensible thing I've done in about 8 hours.....
Also very important tip.... your cell phone battery goes dead.... especially outside in the cold.... put that sonofagun in the warmest place you can find... wherever that is.... leave it there for about 10 minutes and then turn it back on... you'll probably get at least a minute of talk time on it before it goes dead for the last time.
So that was my last communication with the outside world for a while.
See Part 3 for the conclusion of this little saga....
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