"I'm a Grown Ass Man.... You Can't Talk to Me Like That"

It's a statement that often occurs when a Young Man feels like their character as a Man is being threatened, insulted, challenged or belittled by a Parent or another older Adult.

Another version of this statement is....

"I'm a Grown Ass Man.... I can talk to you like that" which often comes when a Young Adult is defending his rights as an Adult in dealing with a Parent or another older Adult.

Either way, it represents a defense of manly rights.

And that's a good thing.... as long as you've earned those rights, i.e. you are qualified to be considered a "Grown Ass Man".

So what are the qualifications for being a "Grown Ass Man"?

Well - obviously this is subjective - so every person's definition of a "Man" is gonna be different, but since this is my blog and my subject and you are subject to my opinions while reading this blog, I'll give it to you...

My opinion, that is, of what a Man is, is as follows:

• To be considered a Man, you have to have some experience and success in a variety of Worldly challenges - and that takes a little time.  In the Old West, some were considered Men at the age of 15 or 16, mainly because they were subjected to the rigors and responsibilities of being a Man, as early as 11 or 12, but for all intents and purposes in the Modern Day World, I just can't consider a Man being a Man until he's at least 20.  I know, we put young men in war at age 18, and they are subject to the horrors of war and combat, and that is one element that definitely makes a man, but they are not well-rounded, responsible men just because they went to war at 18.
• I  might as well go down the list of character attributes: Honesty, Integrity, Hard Work, Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Ambition.  Honesty and Integrity goes way beyond just not lying or stealing or keeping your word and being faithful to your significant other but those are significant requirements.  Self-Honesty has to do with having a clear and objective view of yourself - your strengths and weaknesses - and taking advantage of those strengths while working to improve the weaknesses.  Self-Integrity has to do with being honest enough with yourself to put limits and restrictions on yourself so you don't hurt yourself and those around you.  Correcting bad habits and bad behavior is part of self-integrity. If a Man is not in control of himself - his eating, drinking, sexual behavior, speech, time-management, etc. - is he really a Man?  I mean - come on - I've seen 25 year old men act like titty sucking Mama's boys because they took no responsibility for their own actions or lack of actions... for their Life.
• Hard Work, Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Ambition - Geez this opens up so many cans of worms but the bottom line is that many times the difference between a Man and a Man Wannabe is a four letter word.... Work.  I've never seen a Man that I would call a Man that wasn't a hard working Sonofabitch.  Whether that is hard physical work or work at school, work at home, taking care of the house and family, a Man's Work is Never Done.... I know that phrase is usually associated with Women but the truth of the matter is that a Woman probably wouldn't be working from Sun to Sun if she had a Man that was doing his share of the Work!  Self-Discipline is connotative of Self-Sacrifice and a Real Man does this everyday and I don't mean he sacrifices himself..... In fact, a Real Man puts himself first by setting the priority and the time to take care of himself through proper nutrition, exercise, sleep and time management.  This gives him the base and foundation to serve those he loves and provides them with an example to follow.  Which brings up another point.  A Grown Ass Man sets the bar for those around him.  He doesn't wait for things to happen.  He makes things happen. A Man's Family should look at him and say.... "Yeah, that's My Man or that's My Dad.  He's the hardest working, most caring, honest, loving, best looking, best built Man he can be and I'm proud to be associated with him." If you're living your life in a self-serving, sloppy manner and indulging yourself at the expense of others, how can you call yourself a Grown Ass Man?
• Ambition - Sorry - for me - this is the deciding factor.  A Man has got to have goals and he has to be striving to better himself - through education, work experience, reading, volunteering, self-improvement activities.  If you're no better relationally, vocationally, intellectually, physically, emotionally, spiritually this year than you were last year, then you're a Stagnant Man.

Geez - the list could go on and on... I could get into the soft subjects like caring and empathy and sympathy and compassion and the hard subjects like financial leadership, spiritual leadership, family leadership.

In a nutshell, Men in general, over the past 50 years have slowly abdicated their responsibility of being Men to the Rest of the World, much to the detriment of their Manhood.

This post is just a microcosm of a book I would like to write on this subject entitled....

"In Search of the Male Ego - A Study in the Loss of Modern Masculinity".

The reason why the Feminist movement got started and has sustained itself and grown is because Men quit being and acting like Men.  

So the next time you defend your rights to be considered a "Grown Ass Man"....

Just make sure you're Walking the Talk!