I Write You Poems.... And You Just Say Good-bye

I Wondered and I Pondered
At the end
Of each new day
Until the Wondering became Wandering
And I had Lost My Way.

I looked to the Stars above me
And asked them "Why don't You Love Me?"
And found that with each day's passing
What the Day was lacking
Was the Touch of Your Hand on Me.

I smiled at the Sun
As it slipped away from Me
And when all the Days are Done
With the Final Settling of this Son
All they will do is cover me
And say the words in Eulogy
The will of Wills is at the End
Of His Day of Discovery.

And as Life throws its Dirt over Me
On My Last Day of Discovery
I Wonder
Then I Ponder
What New Life will Become of Me.

I thought I needed a Little Collaborator
As my Life's Fabricator
So I gave my Life to You
I made a Wife of You
I wrote You Poems...
And You just said Good-bye.

So many nights I hung above Her
Trying to be her Best Lover
But it was a Finish before the Start
Because My Lover I Suffer
From Numbness of the Heart.

You call me Gay
Because that's the Only Way
To show Who I Am
And How I Am
To the World Around Me
And Those that Down Me.

You are My Black Hole
And I am Your Super Nova
So when I pass over
The Stars cry for us
On our Journey to the Nebulus.

I was hanging by the thread between us
That's what everybody said when they seen us
I knew I was from Mars and You was from Venus
But that didn't matter
When I came into Your Planet
And You came on my Penis.
But I knew that it was Over
When You called Me Lover
The Day I wrote You Poems
And You chose Another.

So now I feel my Life is Moot
Wearing the same old Starched Suit
With Pen and Paper by my bed
I write these thoughts of You
That fill my weary head.

I decided to turn my Short for You
Into a Long for Me
But realized real quick
We ain't on the same Journey
And that Love ain't Fair
And its Fare ain't Free
But You looked at Me
And said - What do I see
But a Dirty White Boy
With a Dirty White Boy Fantasy.

Just Like My Life
My Thoughts ain't Easy
And sometimes Sleazy
With a little Tap to my Rap
And the right words Missing from My Melody.

Yep - My thoughts are Flyers
That turn into Liars
So that when I sleep
I awake from the deep
And make love with my Admirers.

I don't know where to go
When there's no way to flow
So I stand in the street
With my face to the heat
And just know that I don't know.

She told me - I don't want your Love
I just want your Money
I lived with your Pain
And let me tell you Honey
That the Mean of Living with You
Ain't worth the Meaning of Loving You.

So I turned to her in bed and said
I think Baby that perhaps and just maybe
You missed the Part from the Start
That You would Part from my Heart
And leave Me with just Me
Standing and Stranding Abandoned.

It's OK - I wrote this script
From a Tragedy that was ripped
From a Book of Love and Pain
And a Mind so Muttered and Cluttered
That the Only Hope was the Dope
That all the Soap would Clean the Stain.

And after all the Chatter, it really doesn't Matter
Why I don't come and you come first
For who is first is not who's worst
Cause it's not what counts when the bed goes bounce
But that One's still in Love when the Other leaves town.

So when you forgot me after you rocked me
I knew it was best after the test
We talked the day and you walked away
Leaving me Alone with my own Bone
I thought that You loved Me
But You had your own Recovery
On the Road to Discovery.

Is there longing after leaving
After pleasing in the season
Then it's all good between you and I
When I wrote you poems
And you said good-bye.

You know I keep to myself
Cause it's best for my health
For when One becomes Two
Then Red turns to Blue
And Past becomes Prologue
When this Act is through.

You say You're such a Nice Guy
A Clean and Funny White Fly Guy
I really think you're Gay
But I'll Fuck You anyway
Yeah I know You Don't Care
Because Life ain't Fair.

So when the Friendship ends
And the Love begins
You'll remember what I told you
That I didn't want to hold you
Because I knew the Heat between us
Would leave with that Cold You.

I gave you my Time and I gave you my Rhyme
And you gave me What? when you were leaving
I saw it coming before you were going
Because between all the hard crashing and all the easy flowing
There was just Me and You and only You was knowing
That my Crazy Past would never let things last
But was you looking at my Past or just looking at my Behind
That Tells the Time
Of a Man in a Shell that's been through Hell
Left with Nothing but Scars
And Wounds that won't Heal
So when you act on what you feel
And you tell me that it's Real
Just understand that for Me to be Your Man
You'll have to have Walked where I Walked
To Stand where I Stand.

And all I ever wanted
Was to write you poems
And for you never to say Good-bye.