2016 - The Year of Living Dynamically

This post has been a year in the making because it consists of the makings of arguably, the most difficult, demanding, dynamic and rewarding year of my life.

It began with me discovering I was a cripple.

Yep - almost exactly a year ago, 01/03/16, to be exact, I woke up in the middle of the night, after a long hike the day before, and couldn't straighten my much maligned left knee.

For 3 months, I went through a 1 - 2 hour routine every morning, consisting of hobbling 1 legged from the bed to the shower, keeping my left knee under the hottest water I could stand until the hot water ran out, followed by 30 - 45 mins of painful stretching and exercises, just to be able to get down the stairs.

Walking was painful.  I could ride a bike which I did as much as I could and continued as much non-loaded exercise as I could such as my PIYO classes at Anytime Fitness.

I saw a couple of local Santa Fe orthopedic surgeons who basically pronounced the left knee dead and then set up an appointment with a Total Knee Replacement specialist, Dr. Gregory Stocks, at the Fondren Orthopedic Group, in Houston Tx.

In the meantime, I learned everything I could about Total Knee Replacements and continued to work out as much as I could to maintain as much range of motion and strength in the left leg and the rest of my body as possible.  I ate as clean as I could to get my weight down to take as much load off the knee as possible.

I met with Dr. Stocks on February 17th and scheduled the TKR for the first available date, which was April 4th.

I returned to Santa Fe and prepared myself physically, mentally, emotionally and financially for the challenge to come.

My trip from Santa Fe to Houston for the surgery marked the end of my left knee as I found myself unable to take another step on it while trying to get to the departure gate at the ABQ airport.

I hobbled to a nearby wheelchair and began wheeling myself to the gate where in route, a Good Samaritan intercepted me and wheeled me the rest of the way to the gate.

After continued logistical challenges getting to the hospital and getting checked in for surgery, the whole Total Knee Replacement Procedure and 2-day stay in the Texas Orthopedic Hospital, was like a cake walk.

The post-surgery pain was nothing compared to the intense knife in the knee pain I had been experiencing for the prior 3 months and to a lesser extent, the prior 2 - 3 years.

Recovery was fast and complete, with me walking for short distances without crutches within 3 days, riding a bike within a week and doing a full Rx CrossFit workout a month later.

The New Knee was the ticket to a whole new Show and I felt like I had been given a new Lease on Life.

I spent 3 weeks at my daughter's house during my recovery doing 12 Rehab Sessions at Brazosport Rehab and Wellness and then went for a few days of visiting relatives and then to work on a project that would have be going back and forth from Santa Fe to Texas 6 times in 2016.

During that time, I ramped up to my old routine of workouts and activities - PIYO, Strength Training, Core Strength and More at Anytime Fitness, CrossFit workouts at Praxis, bike riding to / from each and hikes with the Santa Fe Strenuous Hiking Meetup group twice a week, with dancing 3 - 4 nights a week - and created a new routine of a circuit of body weight overhead squats, push-up and pull-ups.

The New Left Knee had me doing more than I had done in the previous year and with virtually little or no pain.

Ironically, this freedom of movement and the joy of life it gave me also brought a sense of caution and appreciation of what I had lost and regained.

When you are crippled and unable to move and in pain and you doubt whether you will ever be able to be whole again, it feels like you have been born again when you are able to walk and run and jump again.

While the tenacity and zest for live, adventure and stretching my body to the limit was still there, it had been tempered by the memory of what I had lost and what had been given back to me.

It was really scary there for a while because I realized I had lost my independence - that I was no longer 9 foot tall and bulletproof - that I could be put down, and most importantly, I had to depend and rely on others to help me.

It was a humbling and enlightening experience, one that rebooted my Life Operating System and reprogrammed my Priorities.

2016 brought me Physical Death and Resurrection.

And it brought the end of several familial relationships.

One because it was Poison to my Soul.

One because some People can't handle the Truth.

One because I couldn't undo the Past.

It also brought me a short but intense relationship that showed me that Being Alone was better than trying to Share my Life with Another.

2016 brought me more Work than I had in previous years, more Pain than I had experienced in a Lifetime, more Joy and Restoration than I thought possible and more Heartache than I wanted.

What did I learn from my Year of Living Dynamically?

I am mentally, physically and emotionally stronger than I thought I was.

I ALONE am the Master of my World and am the Best One to Know what is Best for Me.

I am still a a Flawed and Fallible Soul, Servant to and in celebration of my Character Weaknesses and the Unpredictable and Spontaneous Nature of my Mind, Soul and Spirit.

I am Unique, Fringe and a Combination of Mental, Physical and Emotional Anomalies that People that don't know me Reject and that people that do know me find difficult to Assimilate and Process.

I Stand Alone on this Last Day of 2016 Stronger than I have ever been in anticipation of the Next Breath, the Next Day, the Next Year and the continuing Discovery that is this gift called Life.

Create your World, Build your Body, Strengthen your Mind, Search your Soul, Refine your Spirit and Love your Life.

These are my Goals for 2017 and my Wishes for You.

New Year's Eve Feast

Picked up a couple of 16 oz bone-in New York Strip steaks from Smith's for $4.99 / lb and prep'd them yesterday with Adolph's Unseasoned Meat Tenderizer, Salt, Fresh Ground Black Pepper and a generous coating of my Curry Powder, Garam Masala, Allspice, Cumin mix and forked the seasoning into the steak on both sides.

Into a smoking hot cast iron skillet for 3-1/2 mins on the 1st side - steaks were about 3/4" thick so 1 min for every 1/4" of thickness for Medium.

I keep boiled eggs in the fridge all the time for a quick and easy "Perfect Food" snack.

I boil them for 5 mins at this 7200' elevation in Santa Fe which gets them to soft boiled where the yolk is still moist but not runny.... that's the way I like them.

Beautiful Blackening of the seasoning on this steak - this is what a cast iron skillet does.  Most people don't realize the difference that searing that seasoning to the meat surface makes.  It creates an incredible layer of flavor AND seals in the natural meat juices.

3 mins on the 2nd side and then let that steak rest for at least 5 mins before eating.

Once that steak comes out, I pan grilled in the steak drippings an entire yellow squash sliced thin seasoned with the same spices as the steak.

Pan grilled an already baked sweet potato sliced into discs and added a 2nd starch in the form of a 90 second microwave packet of Uncle Ben's Red Beans and Rice mix.  Once the rice cooked in the microwave I pan grilled it in the cast iron skillet to get some of that steak seasoning into the rice. Add a beautiful soft boiled egg on the side, fresh basil for a garnish and a bodybuilding drink mix of Fruit Punch Creatine and Chocolate Protein isolate with a pan grilled Hawaiian Honey Wheat Roll with real butter for what I consider dessert and you've got a...

New Year's Eve Feast!

That's the way to finish off 2016 and put a good start on 2017.

Running the Human Race and Winning Everyday!

I have to kinda smile and chuckle inside when people in theses CrossFit-style workouts, or any workouts for that matter, say that they're just competing against themselves.

I almost wanna say - "Well then why are you here?" 

For me, the spirit of competition and learning from others around me in the spirit of competition, is a part of why I do what I do.

I look at the others around me in these workouts as a part of a competitive and elite community.

We are all individuals that, for whatever personal reasons, are seeking to better ourselves through a rigorous, varied, challenging and lifestyle functional program of exercise.

Despite me wearing my Extra Large Women's Pink Praxis tank top in deference to "Snatch" day, my Snatch sucked.

But that's OK.

I took my frustration out on a 5 Round + 3 Rep Rx WOD and walked away ruling my day anyway!

And followed up the 9 mile round trip bike ride and workout with a meal that satisfied the palate and the body's need for protein with a few creamy carbs thrown in:

1 link diced TJ's Jalapeno Chicken Sausage

1 - 2 oz link of diced Holmes Pecan smoked Beef sausage

2 slices of TJ's Peppered turkey bacon

1 cup of creamy southern style grits

2 over medium eggs

Garnish of fresh basil, kalamata olives, grilled artichoke hearts and fresh tomatoes.

I am running the Human Race and Winning Every Day!

The Ultimate Art Form of Self Expression: Body Sculpting

This is a post that I have hesitated to write because it goes so counter culture to the culture I now live in which is the Santa Fe NM culture.

But frankly, I've kinda gotten sick and tired of hearing so many people talk about and so many women swoon over the musicians and movie makers and sculptors and jewelry makers and the many other "artists" in this community, that I just decided Fuck it, let me throw my 2 cents worth in.

Everybody has different talents, different interests, different priorities and different ideas of what is art and how they want to express themselves.

For me, the ultimate form of expression is the Human Body.

While many spend their time expressing their images of mind and imagination on canvas or by dancing their fingers through melodic riffs on a guitar or flying across the ebony and ivory of a keyboard or carving their vision from marble or bronze....

I prefer to create my Masterpiece from the closest medium I have at hand.....

My own body.

Believe me - I have nothing but the ultimate respect for those artists who have spent their life developing their ultimate craft or form of self-expression.

But let's face it - that is just one form of self-expression.

I, too, and many like me have spent a lifetime or a good many years of pain, sweat and tears working on our own body craft.

Studying different techniques, practicing different workouts, working around and through injuries and setbacks, eating the right kinds of foods, going through trial and error on the combinations of exertion, nutrition, recovery and the effects of stress on the human body....

To carve and to refine....

At any age....

The Ultimate Art Form.

Being a "Tweener" at 54

tween·er

ˈtwēnər/

noun

USinformal

1. a person or thing considered to be between two other recognized categories or types.

   
   

   "Price considered him a tweener, too small for a lineman and too big for a linebacker"

   • short for tweenager.

One who doesn't fall in any category of people (cliques). The tweener walked through the halls helplessly looking for a place to belong.

"Tweener" is usually a term reserved for those adolescents between the ages of say 10 - 13.  They're not what you call children but not quite teenagers either but I kinda like the connotation of the 2 definitions above.

I'll condense it even further to "someone who is caught between age groups".

And that's exactly where I find myself in Santa Fe where the average age of the population is 63 years old.

Maybe I missed the sign but I haven't seen the street where all the people my age live.

There's a lot of people older than me and quite a few younger than me but not so many my age.

Which puts me in a really interesting situation, that being that I'm too young for the older people and too old for the younger people.

Which is quite amusing because I have what I would consider the values and principles of an older person but the perspectives, energy, outlook and physicality of a younger person.

I am a Young Person with an Old Heart.

And it's also funny that my 23 year old daughter and 31 year old son look at me as old because I don't look at them as young - I look at them as equals.

So I end up hanging out with people that are older than me on my hikes and in social situations like dancing and I work out with people that are younger than me in my CrossFit workouts.

Oh I've tried to make connections with people younger than me - say 40 - 45, but inevitably they look at me and treat me like an older person - which I am.

So I find myself stuck in the dead zone between those too old to take me seriously and being too serious for those too young for me

Being a Tweener at 54.

Living in the World according to ______

It's a fatal flaw of mine that I am drawn to and seemingly attract very strong willed women.

I respect their independence of Life, Spirit and Perspective and apparently the respect is mutual.

Until the Clash of Independence and Wills occurs.

Strong-willed People, especially older Strong-willed People tend to have unshakable, unalterable views of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

They also tend to be relatively sensitive to and intolerable of any thought, expression or action that challenges their personal view of how things should be done or how life should be conducted.

They exist in their Own World of Rights and Wrongs and no external force or being will change their Universe of Morals, Ethics, Axioms and Standards.

This self-confidence and rigidity of spirit and perspective creates its own kind of stubbornness.

I can speak on this matter with some authority because I are one and have experienced a few of like kind.

It's something I have worked on with limited success because frankly I consider it more of a liability than an asset.

I mean - come on - if you think you have it all figured out, that you know yourself and the world around you well enough to NEVER change or admit there could be a better way or to at least consider ideas, perspectives and actions that might lead to self-improvement, then by my definition, you are pretty much stagnant or some kind of....

God on Earth.

One Walk out of the World according to William has been to try to be tolerant of and flexible with relational "lines in the sand" drawn by my selected mirror images of the female persuasion and in seeking not to draw those same lines in the sand myself.

In reflection and consideration of repeated attempts in breaking out of the World according to William and trying to live in the World according to ______, I guess I'd have to say I haven't been successful at navigating the Stormy Seas of Compromise, Self-Service and Independence that one must sail through to get to the calm waters of a lasting and meaningful relationship.

Perhaps the solution begins at the beginning of the voyage in recognizing the inevitable outcome of trying to build and sustain a relationship with a mirror image of myself.

There has to be some neutral territory or middle ground between the...

World according to William and the
World according to William's Significant Other.

And that search may be more about changing William's World than finding a World for William to share.

Outback Willie's Cosmic Chili

Woke up to 10 degree temps here in Santa Fe and figured it was about time to pull a Texas Chili into New Mexico but amp it up a bit.

So here are the main ingredients:

• Holmes Pecan smoked beef sausage
• 50 - 50 Ground 95% lean turkey / 95% natural pork ground meat with a wet mix of 1 egg, honey mustard, worcestshire, soy sauce, tabasco, sriracha, balsamic and olive oil and a veggie mix of diced sweet onion, poblano / red bell / jalapeno peppers, carrots and fuji apple.
• Poblano, red and green bell and jalapeno pepper
• Sweet Onion
• Carrot sticks
• Yellow Squash
• Garlic and Ginger
• Large can of tomato sauce, diced tomatoes
• Small can of Mexican corn
• 1/2 carton of chicken stock
• Salt, Pepper, chili powder, cayenne, bay leaves, tarragon, herbs de provence
• Pecorino Romano cheese
• Pineapple (Huh? Yep - You had to know it would be different!)

Start by dicing the "hard" veggies.

Get those sauteing in a smoking hot cast iron dutch oven.

Dice up the beef sausage, ginger and garlic.

Yellow squash.

Obviously, everything is seasoned before it goes in the pot.

Add the sausage, ginger, garlic and squash and the tarragon and herbs de provence.

Roll everything together and saute for 3 mins and then add a good helping of the ground meat mix and roll again and saute for 3 more mins.

Here's the rest of the ingredients ready for addition.

Tomato sauce and diced tomatoes and corn in and then add a half a container of chicken broth and add more chili powder and the bay leaves and bring to a boil.

And here's the critical ingredient.  Gotta add a little brown sugar to cut the acidity of the tomatoes and meld the flavors together.

Dice and season a 1/3 of a pineapple with cinnamon.

Saute the pineapple in a hot cast iron skillet....

Grate some pecorino romano cheese.

Add the pineapple to the chili and stir in.

Add some fresh cilantro and grill up a piece of spelt bread.

Simmer for 5 more minutes.

Total prep and cooking time is 30 mins.

Serve over wild rice and sprinkled with the Pec Rom Cheese and some fresh cilantro and a couple of dobs of sour cream.

Not your regular Texas Chili but perfect for a cold day in Santa Fe and definitely.....

Out of this World!

Close only counts in Horseshoes, Hand Grenades, Atomic Bombs and Relationships

Another old saying bastardized for the purpose of making a point.

The concept is pretty simple.

The cases or occasions where 2 people meet and discover that they have no or very few points of contention or differences in perspective and lifestyle is pretty rare.

For the most part, the successful relationships I have observed have been those where 2 people have a number of significant core values alike and then have the ability to tolerate, live with and adapt to their fellow foibles, fallibilities and failures that follow which requires patience and flexibility.

I say observed because unfortunately I have never had a long term lasting successful relationship as evidenced by 2 divorces, which probably makes me the least likely candidate to comment or express opinion on the subject matter, but, again, observation of success is at least a way of gathering information.

One thing that doesn't work is expecting your significant other to meet ALL of your expectations ALL of the time.

Kinda like the old saying -

You can fool some of the people all the time and all the people some of the time but you can't fool all the people all the time.

Substitute in "please" for "fool" and "your significant other" for "people" and you get the gist of it.

So if you wanna get close to someone, find someone that gets close to what you want and then don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

Gaining Control by Giving it Away

Kind of a derivative or a continuation of the whole "Less is More" theme of Life from the prior post.

The more I've seen this concept practiced in my own life, the more I realize how effective it is especially when dealing with things involving the emotions of another person.

As I've gotten older and associated with people who are older, which is what happens when you get older, I've realized how much more rigid and unforgiving I am in dealing with other people's actions or in compromising or adjusting my own actions and style to accommodate those of another person.

The tendency is to try to exercise some control or influence over those you care about or are interested in to change their course of life and lead them to your own state of enlightenment.

And then there's that whole Life History thing where the summation of your Life Experiences come into play and influence your own perspectives on how to do things and how to interact with others.

In the end analysis, it's all about assessing the importance of differences in perspectives and style and deciding whether or not those particular elements are relational "showstoppers".

I've encountered this a few times in the past year where lines are drawn in the sand over things that to me are just minor perturbations in the Universe of Life, but to the other person, are actually Canyons of Controversy that couldn't be spanned with anything less than a Superman leap or an Evel Knievel rocket.

About the only thing you can do in those circumstances is shrug your shoulders and walk away and hope that time and consideration will bring a change in the other person's perspective or priority.

Leave the Control of the Outcome in the Other Person's hands and Live your Life.

Sometimes the best thing to say is NOTHING!

Another one of those social topics or techniques I had no concept of growing up because my family was loud, talked a lot and generally left nothing unsaid....

Even if it should have been.

It was a running joke that when all the Millers got together, it was a contest to see who could shout the loudest.

Partly as a result of this heritage, my "filter" for expressing myself was "No filter".

It took me about 50 years to realize this is probably not the right approach if you want to live a peaceful, productive and healthy life.

My son was always pretty good about knowing what to say and what not to say in critical situations so I started seeking counsel from him.

And the results of a healthy and active lifestyle, better nutrition, more sleep and less stress and the effects of aging seemed to have lessened my desire or need to talk so much and increased my understanding of listening and sometimes doing or saying nothing.

I've had several situations, encounters or interactions with people over the last year or so that has really illustrated how important it is to understand and practice this simple act of social elegance.

Perhaps ironically, all of these interactions have been with women.

I think it's most appropriately used with women than men because the interactions with women can often be more "feeling"  than fact based.

I'm a Problem Solver - I want to fix things and make them right.  To analyze the situation, figure out what's wrong and talk about and put into motion the things that are gonna make the situation better.

In a lot of cases involving intense feelings and emotions, especially if there's some history or precedent involved, the last thing the other person wants to hear is the solution to the crisis. They may just want you to "suffer" and take it.... feel a little bit of the pain and frustration they feel.

They own the pain and perspective of that situation and they want you to know what that feels like.

If you stand up like a racketball wall and bounce the pain back at them with your logic and reason, all they're gonna get is more pain returning with velocity and forethought.

And maybe also ironically, in most of these cases I'm referencing, in the end analysis, I really hadn't done anything wrong.

There was a history or a misunderstanding or just a need to vent that had absolutely nothing to do with me in particular and everything to do with the other person.

My approach with each circumstance was a little different but was always based on two ways of handling things:

• Just shut up and listen.
• If I said anything, it was to agree, console, support or accept blame, responsibility or at least complicity.

And in every case where the other person was just too jacked up emotionally to avoid getting jacked up emotionally myself, I just said "Hey, you have every right to be upset.  I understand but there is just no way I can talk to you about this right now. Can we talk about this again tomorrow?"

Every single freaking time I did that, I got some text or communication in follow up apologizing and thanking me for understanding.

And the situation was always resolved amicably.

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

And sometimes the best answer is....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4