Oh - so you thought I was kidding.... About the housecleaning...

I got your housecleaning.
This is the way a man cleans so pay attention and take notes Bitches!
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First of all - you start at the top so the shit you knock off the wall and cabinets doesn't fall on the counter and floor you just cleaned.

Speaking of counters, I have marble tile - Breccia Oniciatta - to be exact and everybody and their brother tried to talk me out of putting them in ....
And I'm glad I didn't listen because I love them. It's just the difference between marble and granite - marble is softer but has beautiful and flowing patterns which I painstakingly matched up
and indexed so the patterns would be preserved when the tile was installed. And it was done for a fraction of solid surface. I still look at my counters and smile - Well Done Rebel Spirit!
Anyway - back to the cleaning.  As shown above, the counters are next.
By that time you should be down to the floors which have to be swept first.

Then comes my favorite part - I hate mopping the floor.... Grrrrrr!

I'm gonna need some help to do this. Let's bring in a little....

Then I have this little technique which I actually do love to do where I stand on a big towel and shuffle over the floor I've just mopped and that dries it and picks up the last remaining dirt in addition to being a good leg workout. 

Now let's knock out a camode...

And polish up the brass faucets.

And there you go.... That's how it's done....
Results shown are not guaranteed and are subject to the skill of the idiot doing the work.

You know - I've had a lot of people tell me I'll make a good wife someday.

And to that I say....

I'm already a Good Bitch - Bitch!

And no - I don't hire out - Bitch!