So what's been going on Bro Wills?
Why haven't you been posting? Cat got your tongue? You been sitting on your hands? What's your fucking problem?
Well - BroHeem - there's this little thing called a left knee that has basically taken my life over and I've had to deal with it.
Ever since my last hiking excursion on Sunday, 01/03, the knee went south for the winter and left me bone to bone and in a whole new World of Pain.
Kinda reminds me of the old saying.... "Don't bitch cause things can always get worse".
Yep - True That.
So I got past the 2 weeks of continuous throbbing deep bone pain that left my knee bent at an angle where I had to spend the first hour of each day in intense teeth gritting pain, hot water and exercise just to get the left leg straightened out so I could get down the stairs.
Talking about a whole new reality - where the blessing for the day is walking without a limp.
But you know me - Grin and Bear it right?
Take action - Shoot up here amongst us - Do something.... even if it's wrong!
So what's in my control?
Well - my weight to a point.... so I headed to that point.
Since I wasn't working out as much, I didn't have to eat as much.... so that's what I did or didn't.
Took it down close to my all time low of 165 which I attained in June 2014.
Is it helping? Not really but I look pretty lean.
Like Fernando Llamas said.....
"It is better to look good than to feel good!"
In the meantime, amidst all this pain and suffering, other than being all alone in this World, this World is pretty cool.... or should I say cold and snowy!
Came out of my PIYO class at Anytime Fitness recently and was greeted with a Snowy Mustang!
Who says you can't eat good and lose weight?
Slow braised Pork Stew, Grits and Eggs, Sourdough Bread, Clementines, Grapefruit and Fat Free Lactose Free Milk
That'll put a Pep in your Step or at least a Gimp in your Limp!
Oh and here's a Thing of Beauty.....
Cast iron skilled grilled Wild Sockeye Salmon fillet with hot mustard and Sriracha on toasted Sourdough bread with a generous pile of Spring Mix, tomato and Clementine wedges.
What's better than a Stang in the Snow at night?
2 Stangs in the Snow at night..... Kinda funny - of all the features on this Beautiful Beast, the one I get the most comments on is the running Mustang displayed on the ground at night....
420 horses under the hood and the one that people like most is the one projected on the ground.....
In reflection, I have had some times when I thought I probably should've kept my old Red Ford F-150 but after spending a winter in Santa Fe with the Bridgestone Blizzak shoed Red Lady with the heated seats and the look that gets the looks.....
I think I might just keep her..
So the pain wasn't going away with everything I was trying so I tried an old friend of mine for a few days.....
What friend you ask?
Well Jose Cuervo of course!
What's better than a Mason Jar of Margarita with Lime and salt and a roaring fire?
Holy Shit - 7 degrees - more wood on the fire please! Going through my 2nd cord now!
Ok..... that's not fair to the rest of the world..... when you walk out of a workout and look at this.... you have to think I'm one lucky SonofaBitch!
I have to tell you from personal experience that pain - deep boned and continuous pain - pain with each step - pain that makes you change how you walk and think and act - pain that changes your life - kinda makes you think more about mortality... and death.
I mean, seriously, I realize my knee pain is nothing compared to what people with terminal cancer or some other deadly affliction, feel....
But still, even now, I realize, that if this is the way it's gonna be, I definitely don't want to live forever.... Hell I'm not even sure I wanna live another 10 years if this is what Life is gonna be like.
So when Pain is your constant companion and you begin considering what Death will be like, it's time to start taking the next step....
A Painful Step but a Necessary Step.
Cause after all, your attitude, your mental perspective, your Lease on Life, your Desire to Live is the single most important thing you need...
Well..... that and Kick Ass Music!
"Not Gonna Die"
Death surrounds
My heartbeat’s slowing down
I won’t take this world’s abuse
I won’t give up, I refuse!
This is how it feels when you’re bent and broken
This is how it feels when your dignity’s stolen
When everything you love is leaving
You hold on to what you believe in
The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flat line
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Break their hold
'Cause I won’t be controlled
They can’t keep their chains on me
When the truth has set me free
This is how it feels when you take your life back
This is how it feels when you finally fight back
When life pushes me I push harder
What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger
The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flat line
No, not gonna die tonight
We’re gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Don’t you give up on me
You’re everything I need
This is how it feels when you take your life back
This is how it feels when you fight back
No, not gonna die tonight
We’re gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Not gonna die
(Not gonna die)
Not gonna die
(Not gonna die)
Not gonna die tonight
My heartbeat’s slowing down
I won’t take this world’s abuse
I won’t give up, I refuse!
This is how it feels when you’re bent and broken
This is how it feels when your dignity’s stolen
When everything you love is leaving
You hold on to what you believe in
The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flat line
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Break their hold
'Cause I won’t be controlled
They can’t keep their chains on me
When the truth has set me free
This is how it feels when you take your life back
This is how it feels when you finally fight back
When life pushes me I push harder
What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger
The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flat line
No, not gonna die tonight
We’re gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Don’t you give up on me
You’re everything I need
This is how it feels when you take your life back
This is how it feels when you fight back
No, not gonna die tonight
We’re gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Not gonna die
(Not gonna die)
Not gonna die
(Not gonna die)
Not gonna die tonight
This beautiful and haunting song just keeps catching my attention.....
The bottom line is that we all have our foibles, our fatal flaws....
And despite our best efforts to change or camouflage who and what we are....
The shortest road to Perfection leads to that significant other that accepts and adores who you are...
The way you are.
Variety in Life and Love keeps things interesting - keeps your palette guessing, your body satisfied and your mind wondering.....
What's next?
Braised Pork tacos with fresh cilantro, TJ's Chunky salsa and Queso Fresca and a squeeze of Lime.
Don't know why I'm so fascinated in Death and Burial lately.....
Maybe I'm preparing myself for the next life....
Or at least a few new body parts!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzTZeeMCUBk
Love the symphonic sound of this one! Violins are definitely cool in Rock Music!
Speaking of Death and Rebirth....
How bout starting a New Life of fresh well prepared food that makes your palette and your body jump for joy..... Ok.... for me not jump.... but at least stand up and walk!
Cast Iron Skillet Grilled Tuna Steak, sliced, on top of toasted Farmer's Bread from a local bakery - Sage Bake House - with a fresh salsa of red onion, jalapeno, cilantro and avocado and a nice strong margarita!
Being that I am one Sick Puppy and definitely in need of a change.....
This one keeps catching my eye and ear!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFhRowkNrTM
My life has been one big change after another over the last few years.....
I wouldn't have lived it any other way!
"Maybe"
Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough
Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?
Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough
Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?
Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
I have no idea why I'm sticking this one in here other than when I listened to this song on the my iHeart station, it sounded pretty cool....
After watching the video..... not so much.
But What the Hell..... Yeah I'm 53 but I can still appreciate the fact that if I was 20 again.... maybe.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbUR0SRceD0
Love the guitar lead-in on this one......
Another woman lead singer band which is fast becoming my favorite type of music....
Like I said, I'm right where I should be..... Don't try and Fix me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCbkeUxkbYc
Recently watched "Straight outta Compton" and loved it...
Given the fact that my left knee has finally crashed and burned, it seems....
I need a Doctor to bring me back to Life!
So here's what I've done, what I'm doing and the Plan going forward:
- Trying all kinds of natural supplements for pain relief, joint soothing, etc as described in a prior post.
- Keeping body weight below 170 to reduce stress on the left knee.
- Continuing to ride bike and stay as active as I can in PIYO and Core Strength and more classes at Anytime Fitness. Can't put much weight on the left leg but I'm forcing myself to do what it will take just to keep the leg muscles from atrophying.
- Had a phone call with Dr G William Woods, the orthopedic surgeon who has operated on my left knee 4 times in the last 25 years.... asked a bunch of questions about the next logical step..... Knee Replacement.... he answered most of my questions and left me with a good summary of the past 10 years and our conversation..... "You been running on a bald tire for the last few years.... You just had the blowout.... It's time to get the knee replaced".
- Dr Woods doesn't do knee replacements but he has someone at the Fondren Orthopedic Group that does..... a guy named Dr Gregory Stocks.
- I set up an appointment with Dr Stocks in the next couple of weeks so will fly in to Houston, meet with Dr Stocks, have an evaluation and discuss the many questions and options regarding left knee replacement.
- Depending on what I hear and learn and what my options are, I will likely schedule knee replacement surgery aka knee arthroplasty - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knee_replacement - for sometime in the April or May timeframe.
- I will be in the hospital for 3 - 5 days post surgery and then will stay in the Lake Jackson area for the next 3 - 4 weeks of rehab / physical therapy with the goal being to be able to walk.
- Talked to Allison Holt at Brazosport Rehab and Wellness about the PT and it doesn't sound fun.
- I plan to return to Santa Fe in 3 - 4 weeks post surgery and continue my rehab / physical therapy here.
So there's the Strawman Plan..... we'll see how it goes.
So what's my Prediction for 2016?
Well - I'll let Mr T tell ya...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSPNQ82Sq4E
Yeah from all the research I've done, laying the leg open from Thigh to Shin and cutting sections of bone off the femur and tibia and cementing in metal and plastic parts is a great recipe for.....
PAIN.
But I gotta do what I gotta do.
So what's my Prediction for 2016?
Well - I'll let Mr T tell ya...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSPNQ82Sq4E
Yeah from all the research I've done, laying the leg open from Thigh to Shin and cutting sections of bone off the femur and tibia and cementing in metal and plastic parts is a great recipe for.....
PAIN.
But I gotta do what I gotta do.
Life will be different.... Won't be able to do a lot of the things I was doing with the knee that God gave me.
But Life is all about change.... When one door closes, another one opens.
Having left knee replacement will take me back to the basics of walking and riding my bike.... which will get me outside more... which is one of the reasons I came to Santa Fe in the first place.
So how do I feel about all this?
I'm good with it..... I'm at peace with it....
I'm not afraid.....
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