This is a Post Title and Concept that's been a long time in the making.
Like a Life Time Long Time.
It has so many applications, experiences and lessons learned and bridges burned associated with it that it challenges my simple but overactive mind to focus on the essentials and capture the meaningful nuggets on paper.
But as usual I'll try and we'll see where it leads us.
First off it's been a while since I've published a post... which as usual reminds me of a song.
https://youtu.be/araU0fZj6oQ
And it's been awhile since I've fucked things up as bad as I did this year - well at least as far as relationships go.
But at the heart of the matter of fucking things up is this gap - ehhh - more like a canyon between the concept and application of Intent and Outcome.
So lemme do a little ramble through the valley between Intent and Outcome with some examples and thoughts on how it impacts, directs and defines my life and maybe you'll learn something or at least get a laugh at this poor bastard who is so affected by the difference between the two.
I never really grasped the art and nuance of manipulation of people or of camouflaging the path of approach of my efforts or desires to get what I wanted or what was best for me.
I've often been told - "You know William - it's not what you say - it's how you say it".
WTF does that even mean anyway? See what I mean - it's that kind of thought and exclamation process that gets me in trouble.
Good Intent winds its way through paved roads and green pastures of human emotional delicacy and arrives at its destination without getting the tires of feelings and emotions muddy, without ruts in the lawns of our minds and without the need for a car wash to get all the nasties off the vehicle of our body after the journey is done.
Outcome Driving takes the 4WD shortcut to Grandma's house through the woods where the mudholes are deep and you just have to take the RPM's to Red-Line to keep the wheel speed up and blow through on momentum only. And sometimes you get stuck out in the middle of nowhere - by yourself - with this approach. So Outcome Driver beware - it can be a long and lonely road.
Good Intent is saying you care but not putting out the effort to show you care.
The Outcome Driver is the one that forgets the right words and remembers the wrong words but is always there when you need them.
Good Intent worries about Office Politics and carefully examines the personality and characteristics of every participant in a meeting before offering an opinion or voicing a direction. Sometimes short on meaningful content but always long on consideration.... self-consideration. He / She calculates the impact - especially negative impact aka effort - that will be involved in whatever they represent to the world. Good Intent is Long on Looks and Short on Action. Low on Personal Risk and High on Self Reward.
The Outcome Driver says and does what is Best - period - interested only in the Right and the Truth and the Facts. He / She sacrifices themselves for the Best Outcome - It is less about the Best Outcome for them as it is the Best Outcome for the situation.
Being Outcome Driven means you define what you need to others - you lay it out in specific terms. It's not cloudy or vague or nebulous. And it's largely based on Show Me vs Tell Me.
Again - Good Intent is Thought, Feeling and Emotion centered - Outcome Driven is Action and Destination focused - think shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line.
Good Intent starts Wars and Outcome Driven finishes them.
Outcome Driven does its homework and focuses on Tangibles, on the hard line of Reality that leads to the Truth and is dismayed at the efforts of the Good Intenders to avoid Commitment, Responsibility and Loyalty in deference to Self-Consideration.
Good Intent is a Hand Wave while Outcome Driven is a Finger Point.
Outcome Driven cuts through Bullshit and exposes Weakness and Selfishness and Lack of Commitment - it separates the Wheat from the Chaffe - that's why it's so vilified.
It asks questions when it doesn't know the answer not because it is trying to lead another person to enlightenment or to the Good Intent point of view.
The Socratic Method - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_method - is a beautiful and effective method of communication and idea exchange that has been bastardized by Good Intenders into a "Lead the Stupid Horse to Water" mind fuck technique.
It has become Manipulation 101 in Today's Society.
Lemme tell ya something folks - if you're trying to tell me something or you want me to know something -
Just fucking tell me.
Don't play 20 Questions to show me how much smarter you are than I am.
Good Intent is a Question - Outcome Driven is an Answer.
Good Intent is silent or at best mumbles - Outcome Driven speaks loudly and clearly.
Good Intent suggests a path to solution. Outcome Driven leads the way.
Good Intent is continuously compromising because it submits to feelings and emotions that change like the winds and whims of the humans they are attached to while Outcome Driven rarely compromises because its only Master is Truth and Right which is rarely misunderstood but often avoided.
Good Intent is Conventional Wisdom. Outcome Driven is Independent Thinking.
And Yes - I do realize Good Intent is Nicer than Outcome Driven.
But it's only because of the Nature of the World we live in. The World is dominated by Good Intent now because the World is a much "Nicer" place to live in. It rewards Weakness and dissuades Strength.
Go back 200 years and Good Intent would get its ass kicked by Outcome Driven.
It's amazing to me how many people that I meet and get to know that tell me - "You're so Open and Direct. I've never met anybody like that. It's so refreshing. I like that".
Outcome Driven is Transparent. It says what it means and it means what it says. It's less about the Talk and more about the Walk.
Good Intent feeds you a little bit of information at a time because it is afraid if you knew the whole story you would run like hell in the opposite direction - which is usually the right course of action.
Outcome Driven is Full Disclosure. It saves times, money and feelings.
Good Intent is the Sand on the Beach - shifted by wind and washed out by tide.
Outcome Driven is a stake driven deep in the ground that says You can run circles around this sumbitch cause it ain't moving.
Good Intent is an Apology. Outcome Driven is a Delivery.
Good Intent fears Uncertainty because Uncertainty invariably requires Responsive Action not Standby Consideration.
Outcome Driven embraces Uncertainty because in its Challenge it represents Adaptation, Growth and New Knowledge and most importantly - the Risk of Failure.
And therein lies the main difference between Good Intent and Outcome Driven.
Good Intent never Fails - never does anything wrong - never is to blame - never is responsible or culpable - and can always be defended, explained and rationalized by circumstance, environment or human nature - I call this Good Intended rebuttal "lawyer speak" aka psychobabble - which actually does injustice to lawyers and psychologists / psychiatrists because the Good Intenders performing it usually have no formal training in either field - they just act as they do.
You know why Good Intent never Fails?
Cause Good Intent never did a Fucking thing in its entire life.
It just sat there in the Peanut Gallery and jeered while Outcome Driven tried....
And Failed.
So Yeah - I sometimes say the Wrong Things - letting my thoughts and emotions fall down on my tongue without due consideration.
I sometimes Challenge those with Convictions based on Mass Media not Due Diligence.
And I sometimes beat a Dead Horse.
But I try continuously and consciously to Challenge Myself with my own motivations.
Does that make me better than anybody else?
Naaa.... Just different from most in my estimation.
So let's wrap this little soapbox up with an old proverb and a quote from a guy that seeks Wisdom.
The Road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions...
But the Road to Discovery is Driven by Outcome.
Whenever anyone says "Its not what you said, it's how you said it.." that is shaming. Manipulation. More than half the population is not interested in your service, work or outcome. They are only interested in getting you to recognize their delusional sense of social value. But, even if you do give them what they want, they always jump for the next higher offer. They hide behind the smokescreen of good intentions, because everyone claims to have only the best intentions. They just want to help others be better people. But, they are always looking for a better deal, a bigger payoff, and that feeds their predatory desire for validation.
ReplyDeleteSo True So True and perhaps even a stronger message than I was trying to convey. Well Stated Jim.
ReplyDelete