Death don't Scare Me.... It's Life that Scares Me!

Life and Death
Death and Life
One is My Lover
And One is My Wife.
I Love One
And Serve the Other
Knowing that
When they Meet
They will step over my Grave
And Embrace each Other.

Lots of ways to go on a post with this title, so, as usual, I'll just do a Rumbling, Tumbling, Stumbling and Fumbling down my Football Field of Life and see if we cross some sort of Goal Line and end up in the End Zone of Life together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8yEvF4M-jU

Where's Chris Berman when you need him anyway?

Oh well I guess we'll just have to rely on the wisdom or lack thereof of this Humble Servant and Observer of Life - Yours Truly.

So here's a few Life and Death Bones to put some Meat on or to take Sustenance off of regarding Life and Death.

Death is Final and Predictable - its duration is instantaneous although, in some circumstances, somewhat drawn out.

It's Outcome is Final IMHO and not Negotiable, i.e. this Life and Death is it; that's all there is to it - when you're Dead, you're Dead.  Very counterculture in the Spiritual Afterlife setting of Santa Fe but, again, that's my take on it.

Death ALWAYS Wins.

Life is Uncertain and it's duration Undefined - determined always by its relation and interaction with Death.

It's Natural Energy-based tendency is to gravitate toward Chaos or Disorder aka the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics....

http://www.brighthubengineering.com/thermodynamics/4615-the-principle-of-increase-of-entropy/

 “An irreversible process always tends to take the isolated system to a state of greater disorder. An isolated system always tends to a state of greater entropy. So there is link between entropy and disorder. It may be roughly said that the entropy of a system is a measure of degree of molecular disorder existing in the system. When the heat is imparted to a system, the disorderly motion of the molecules increases and so the entropy of the system increases. The reverse occurs when the heat is removed from the system."

In Mathematical terms, the equation or definition of Entropy is the integral of the Change in Energy divided by Time.

Change in Entropy = Q / T

Bottom line and in Layman's Terms - We have to put a tremendous amount of energy into Life to keep it from going to Hell in a Handbasket.

See - you didn't even know your Life was subject to and governed by an Undeniable and Irreversible Law of Nature!

As I have told my Son and Daughter repeatedly since they were old enough to understand the subject matter and concept....

Life is Hard at Best and Really Hard, Discouraging and Disappointing at Worst.

From the very beginning of Socialization with others, we are challenged with -

Playing well with others
Being received graciously by others and extending that reciprocal graciousness
Trying to respect and develop our own character and growth and to recognize that in others...
Or the lack of it.
Which leads to a need for social and relational assessment and discernment.
In how we handle ourselves around others.
And how we allow others to handle themselves around us
i.e. How we let people treat us.

There are always mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, relational, vocational, etc. challenges for us to face and overcome.

I mean when I look back at the 55 years of my existence - probably 52 of it memorable - or should I say recallable - I marvel at how hard it's been.

And, frankly, I've had a pretty good and easy life compared to a lot of people.

ALL of the hardships I've faced have been created, sustained and fulfilled by ME!

Yep - "Shit Happens" did not happen with Me.

I made Shit Happen - Good Shit and Bad Shit.

As we get older, there is potentially or likely a collection of more Baggage and Bad Memories that Dot and Dash our Life's Morse Code that can unfortunately and negatively influence our Actions, Experiences in and Enjoyment of the Future.

And it takes Life Energy to overcome and deal with this.

At a Time, if you are my age or older, when Life Energy is beginning to ebb.

Think of it as a Salmon swimming against the Current in its last Life attempt to complete the Circle of Life and Death.

The Fast, Inevitable and Unrelenting Current of Life seeks to Detour and Destroy the Salmon's Basic Instinct to Survive, to Live and to fulfill its Ultimate Destiny....

The Sustaining and Prolonging of Life through the Passing of its Life to its Offspring.

Unfortunately, the majority, and I do mean like majority, of the Salmon, DON'T MAKE IT!

Take a look at this data from the following link page 11:

http://www.aquacase.org/learning_docs/Salmon-Survival-Activity-Packet_Jan-2016.pdf

Holy Shit - out of 2500 salmon, 2 made it to Spawning and ZERO Survived!

That's 0.08% of the Population of Salmon actually realized their Full Potential of Life and what did they get as a Reward????

Fucking DEATH!!!!

Which is probably as good a comparison of the Human Life Experience as you can get.

Very Few People actually Live Life to their Full Potential and actually realize and experience the joy of achieving that Full Life Potential.

I am relatively certain that those 2 Salmon, that made it to that quiet pool that was their birthing place and their final resting place, never considered or had any FEAR of Death in their Life's Journey.

They were simply acting on Instinct.

For us of the Human Persuasion, it's not that Simple.

Common or Uncommon Wisdom and many different Philosophies and Sources generally agree that there are 4 or 5 Stages in the Human Life.

Here's a few links to explore and explain those Life Stages:

http://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/2016/the-four-stages-of-life/

https://www.thoughtco.com/stages-of-life-in-hinduism-1770068

https://www.learning-mind.com/stages-of-life-journey/

For the sake of this post and in presenting my own slant on this subject for the Purpose of this Post, here's my 4 Stages of Life:

• Awakening, Learning, Development: this is birth, infancy, childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, where we gain much of our Core Education and Foundation in terms of Formal Learning / Education and Development of Core Personality and Moral and Ethical Characteristics and Standards.
• Recognition and Resolve: this is the Period from Early Adulthood through Late Adulthood - age-wise probably mid 20's to mid 40's where we Recognize, Embrace and Challenge and are Challenged by the World around us and all that entails and encompasses including Matters of Relationships, Marriage, Family, Vocation, Physical Maturing and Peaking, Spiritual, etc. and Resolve to Make our Mark on the World or at least, attempt to make a Good Life (however we define that) based on what we know, experience and prioritize in this Phase of Life.
• Reckoning, Reflection and Sharing: probably mid 40s to early to mid 60s - a time in Life where Life is changing - Kids are leaving or have left the Nest, Work life / Career is winding down and there is Time and Experiences enough behind you to make an assessment or a reckoning of what you've done or not done with your life.  There is Time to Reflect on this and perhaps develop some perspective on it that might border on your personal concept of Wisdom and of course, the need or desire to share those learnings with people around you.
• Retirement, Rebirth, Recreation, Resignation, Receding and Final Resting - Death: For many, regrettably, this may be the first time in Life since Childhood since they've actually had the Time, Money and have taken the Opportunity to PLAY!  The Problem is that, also, for many, they simply don't have the Physical, Mental or Emotional Wherewithal to Play anymore.  Life has taken its toll on the Body, the Mind and the Attitude and Perspective and leaves them no more than Walking Zombies - my term for the Living Dead.  For others, which I continually witness, wonder at and wander with in Santa Fe, i.e., those that have preserved their bodies, minds and sanity, this is a Time where the Pursuit of New Adventures, Travel and Discovery is Met and perhaps Muted by the Reality of Aging.  The Want is there but the Wherewithal is not.

True to the Life Explanation of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics and in the losing attempt to attain, maintain and sustain the Order of Life in the face of Impending and Inevitable Chaos...

Life Energy asymptotically approaches Zero which is the mathematical, literal and life ending phenomenon we all Know and eventually Experience as....

Death.

I have actually heard and had discussions with several people lately that have espoused the concept of...

"I'm not afraid of Death.  I've lived a Good Life".

And I share that precept and premonition.

I have actually set forth a path and defined period of remaining Life that is predicated on my past Life of Pain and Experience and perhaps an attempt to cheat Death it's Smug and Purposeful Observation of my imminent Physical, Mental and Emotional Decline.

I am 55 and still pretty much WAO (Wide Ass Open) physically, mentally and emotionally, however, in this Top Fuel Dragster metaphor of Life, parts and pieces of me are flying off going down the track in the quest of a 300+ mph sub-4 second finish.  Check out the John Force - Kenny Bernstein crash at the 1:00 minute mark on the video.... Epic, Tragic and kinda Representative of my Experience with those that try to Run with Me during this Final Drag Race of Life, i.e. in my Intensity and Wills to Win - I end up taking us Both Out!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf7qV4GiZeg

I figure, based on this "I'd rather burn out or blow up instead of Fade Away" philosophy, I got 15 more years of what I call the Good Life left.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O1v_7T6p8U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHshP9vcnDY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bOKsOveYD0

So - yeah - I definitely wanna check out of this Salmon Run before I'm 70.

I see the shock on the face of the few that I reveal this to especially given that many of the recipients of my Declaration of Life and Death are either approaching, on or are looking at the passing of the cusp of 70 years of age.

They attempt to console me by saying things like "Oh, you're gonna live way past that - look at you.  You take good care of yourself.  You're in great shape".

I kinda smile a little inside at these words of encouragement and just say "Well thanks.  I appreciate it.  Guess I'll just take one day at a time and see what happens".

When I'm really thinking, "You don't have a clue.... this Physicality is really all a facade.  I'm really broken up inside with a Fake Left Knee, 2 missing discs in my lower back, a left shoulder that grates and grinds in a no-cartilage socket, a right knee / leg that is crooked and painful and a myriad of other physical pains and deficiencies to boot."

Yeah - there's a reckoning to an attitude and application of Invincibility and maintaining an all-out Sprint in Life when you should be Jogging or Walking.

But that's OK - it's my Life and my Death to Make and to Meet.

I will likely skip or try to avoid the Final Phase of Life as defined above, choosing instead to Meet and Greet Death while I am still able to Five Finger Death Punch Him in the Face and hug him in an End of Life Embrace as we jump off Life's Cliff together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-snQbt9T8U

"Cradle To The Grave"

The blood that runs within my veins
(the blood that runs within my veins)
Keeps me from ever ending up the same
(ending up the same)

The fire that's pushing me on and on and on
(on and on and on)
To me it's everything and it makes me fucking strong

Love me or hate me
I walk alone

Been called a monster, called a demon, called a freak
(called a freak)
I'm not an idol, not an angel, not a saint
(I'm not a saint)

I walk alone, I always have, I'm not ashamed
(not ashamed)
A living nightmare from the cradle to the grave

The soul that lives within my chest
(the soul that lives within my chest)
Just won't allow me to turn out like the rest
(turn out like the rest)
This heart that's driving me on and on and on
(on and on and on)
Has the same vision and it keeps me fucking strong

Yeah - that Mother Fucker - Death - don't Scare Me.

It's that other Mother Fucker - Life - that Scares the Death out of Me.