Take Time before you have Sex

I know.... I sound like your mother.

And this is another one of those topics and opinions that has as many approaches and opinions as there are penises and vaginas in the world.

But here me out on this.

And first off, let me say I am no expert on this subject....

Having Sex or When to Have Sex.

But as usual, let me remind you, this is my blog and I'll write about what I want to write about while trying not to offend or defend anyone in the process.

So here goes.

I think there's a lot of advantages to a relatively extended period of time between the time you meet someone and the time you have intimate relations with them.

And of course, I realize it depends on the individuals and how much time they spend together in any given period of time and blah blah blah.

And of course, if you don't care about taking risks or you just want to have sex for the sake and purpose of having sex, then by all means meet the guy or girl and take them home that night.

But here are a few reasons why not to do that.

I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character and that I can size people up pretty well in a first meeting but let's face it.... I'm not and I can't.

You meet someone for the first time and you get a good impression and good vibes but there is no way on God's Green Earth that you can know the true character and disposition of that person in one meeting.

And people can act.... And they can fool you.... for a long time.

So how the fuck do you know you're not having a one night stand with some really deranged person or not?

And what their history is?

And how many people they've slept with?

And I know you should use protection but that's not the point. There are ways to get stuff that a condom doesn't protect you against.

Now if you're around that same person 5, 10, 15, 20 times over a period of months and you see them in a variety of situations, environments, settings.... then maybe just maybe you might just get to know the real person that you're wanting to have sex with.

Ok, Fine.... you take the fast lane and you have sex with a person on the first or second date and then God forbid, you find out you really don't like the person and then there's all the awkwardness and bad feelings you have to go through dealing with that.

For those lucky enough to live in a big city, that's probably no big deal.  They just fade into the populated landscape and hopefully you don't have to end up blocking them from your cell phone or email.

In a place like Santa Fe where everybody knows everybody or they know somebody who knows you, you might as well be going to bed with all of Santa Fe.  Think 2 degrees of separation.

Now let's address a more significant issue.

And again, I realize this doesn't apply to everyone.  Some people can have great sex and enjoy it and not think anything about whether they know the person or even like them.

Great.... for them.

But for me, the special part of sex or making love or whatever you want to call it, is actually feeling somewhat close and comfortable with your partner.  For me, it's all about Quality and not Quantity.

When I have sex, I want it to be memorable.  Let me rephrase that.... I want to Make a Memory.

Hell - if I want a daily physical activity, I can just go work out.

When I make love, I want it to be a great physical experience but more importantly I want it to be a memorable spiritual and emotional experience.

And for me, to get to that point....

It takes time.