You know when your Dick turns Purple.... It's Time to Slow Down

Man - if that post title doesn't get your attention....

Then nothing will.

And don't worry..... No pics with this post....

Even I have limits!

So what's up with the Purple Dick thing?

And why are you talking about this?

Well - the short answer is cause it happened to me....

and I think it's something people should know about for several reasons.

Let's recap....

Last Tuesday - that's 7 days ago - I was late for Family Fitness Boot Camp and drove into the parking lot to see the FF class already started with the class in the parking lot behind FF.

So.... Instead of rolling around front and parking and going into FF like a smart, disciplined 52 year old, I foolishly parked the Stang in the back, jumped out and joined the class....

Without Warming Up.....

Without doing my ritualistic standard warmup that I have been doing for over a year now....

That it took a long time for me to develop based on stretching all the right things the right way.....

Because of being injured before....

Because I didn't warm up properly.

Remember I told you Life is a Circle!

So I didn't warm up or stretch but started slow...

Doing squats and quick feet and mountain climbers and then a couple of slow jogs with the gang and then started a sprint....

And felt my Groin Rip from Abs to thigh....

With intense burning pain right at the crease of the leg with the torso....

Right next to my left nut..

So I pulled up and sure enough, I knew I had messed up and injured myself.

Coasted through the rest of the workout.

Got home and iced it and assumed it was just a groin pull which I've had before.

This was actually an area that had been a problem for a while.

Like I had told several people over the last few months, it felt like there was a piano wire tied from my right index finger down through my right arm and torso diverting at my lower abs through my left groin down into my left leg and to my left big toe.

I had been feeling it for quite some time.... no doubt from the stretched out overhead movements (Overhead Squats, Floor to Overhead Cleans).... and other overhead movements commensurate with the Olympic lifting based movements of CrossFit.

There's no doubt that my paradigm shift in fitness and Core Development and Strength is attributable to these high range of motion dynamic movements -

My abs, serratus - intercostals, external obliques, spinal erectors and lower lats -

Are at a level of development I have never seen before....

Crazy to Conceive at 52..... but True.

Even when I was BodyBuilding in my late teens and early 20s, my Core was not developed like this.

So - I knew I was stretching and building things..... and that's why the warmup and pre-workout stretching was so important.

Until I decided it wasn't.... for one split second.

That's how....

SHIT HAPPENS!

We make a BAD DECISION that is totally in our control.... a decision that we own... and then....

SHIT HAPPENS!

Remember that - the next time something bad happens to you and you look around for something or someone to blame it on.

You did it Dumb Ass - So Own It and Move On!

So back to the Purple Dick thing.

I've torn stuff before.... Left Knee ACL, Left Ankle, Left and Right Hamstrings....

And everytime there was signs of a tear.... Swelling AND Bruising!

So I was looking for this with my groin pull.

And nothing.... just couldn't move my leg in a spread out lateral orientation or an extended lunge position and couldn't pull it inward.... pretty much what you would expect from a groin pull.

So no bruising or discoloration....

Until Monday morning.... yesterday.

I woke up, went to pee.... and glanced down..... so I didn't miss the Cavernous Opening of the camode....

Cause I was half asleep....

And came awake real quick.... when I saw my stick....

Was Fucking Purple!

I mean I'd love to say that it was due to some excessive Sexual Activity and I wore it out the night before....

But that ain't the case.

So I got that Eye Opener...

I figured I better look a little closer so I rolled up Junior to look at Nut Left and Nut Right.

Holy Shit..... Left Nut is purple too!

And then I thought....

Maybe it had something to do with that Mosh Pit run I did the night before at the Mayhem Music Festival

Running in the Mosh Pit at the Mayhem Music Festival!

http://youtu.be/10fKLAAg2RY

I just couldn't resist.... I knew it would probably hurt my groin.... But I had never seen this before and had watched it going on for the entire festival and figured....

Hell - I'm 52 years old.... I may never get another chance to do a Mosh Pit...

So WTF - a few rounds won't hurt anything....

And it didn't....

Until I got slammed from behind going down the Lawn Slope of the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion...

And had to take a long stride with my left leg to keep from going down...

And - Oh - Holy Ripped Groin Pain Batman! - I felt it...

So I'm thinking - Mosh Pit - Purple Dick and Left Nut....

Yep....

So Stupid Act #2....

Running with a Ripped Groin in a Mosh Pit at the Mayhem Music Festival with Avenged Sevenfold belting out "Hail to the King"....

Ok.... so the deed is done.... twice....so what's Rule 1 with dealing with an Injury?

DON'T MAKE IT WORSE!

Geez - scratch that one out cause I already made it worse.

Let's move to Rule 2:

Seek medical advice from someone you trust....

So I went to my down home down to earth Nurse Practitioner, Stephani Bradley....

And No - she did not make an examination - and even though it would have been embarassing  - I was a little disappointed cause I had trimmed up all the..... Ok - never mind - TMI on top of TMI.

So she gives me a 7 day supply of steroids - Yay! I finally get to take steroids - OK - not the same... but still.

And a Muscle Relaxer - Now that's what I need.

So I get home and take my meds and fix me a huge double Protein Paleo meal of HEB Hatch Chile Pepper Seasoned Thin Cut Chicken Breast and Tilapia with a ton of wilted Kale with Bananas and Cinnamon and Brown Sugar...

And a glass of Cabernet....

And another glass of Moscato....

And it's about 4 o'clock in the afternoon....

And I'm feeling sleepy....

And relaxed.....

Which is the way you're supposed to feel after taking a muscle relaxer and drinking 2 glasses of wine....

So I go lay down in my bed....

And wake up....

AT 2 O'CLOCK in the morning....

Holy Dead Man Sleep.....where did those 10 hours go?

Got up and ate a boiled egg with some fruit and nuts...

And went back to sleep till 5:00 am....

Haven't slept 12 hours in a night....

In about 12 years.

So I had told my wife about my injury....

And being the genius Internet researching Smartest Person I've Ever Met person she is....

She texts me this morning....

"Based on your description of the injury and symptoms (that's the way she talks - I told you she was smart!), I think you have a Sports Hernia".

Well Hell - that don't sound good - but if I'm gonna have to name a Hernia - guess I'd like to have a....

Sports Hernia....

And sure enough.... when I reviewed a couple of links and some images of Sports Hernia, it's exactly what I have.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sports_hernia

http://www.mensfitness.com/training/sports-hernia-recovery

Looks like surgery is the only solution long term, so I'll be seeing a specialist about that and will provide updates.

In the meantime, I will continue doing those movements that are free of pain, which turns out to be quite a bit.

So..... What's the Takeaway from all this?

#1 -
Always (and this is one case where using the word "Always" is appropriate) stretch and warm up before you do anything strenuous.  This includes work or physical movements at home including mowing the yard, throwing a ball, you name it - don't just jump up and do anything that is outside the range of motion your body has been used to.

#2 -
Don't follow up an injury with any other dynamic activities that could worsen the injury.

There you go....

I'm the Poster Child for Dumb Ass on both items above.

That's your Discovery for the Day.