This post is about me.... that's why it's got an "I" in the title.
But hopefully you'll learn something from it.
Been thinking about the pro's and con's of writing this post and what I wanted it to say and how people would interpret it and ...... blah blah blah.
Finally, I just said F*&! it.... it's my blog - I'll write what I want. Kinda goes with the post title.
Lots of People in my life say I'm self-centered and that everything's about me.... so might as well give 'em confirmation - right?
I talk a lot about Self Discovery and Self Help and Helping Yourself and Improving Your Lifestyle and....
Notice how many times the word "Self" and "Your" appears in that sentence.
The point is that you need to spend time to focus on "You". Introduce yourself to you and get to know you.
Sounds stupid? You would be amazed at how many people don't recognize or even admit the existence of their own core characteristics, personality traits, habits and weaknesses.
They look in the mirror with blind eyes.
People that claim to be cool, calculating, calm people who have to raise their voice in discussions like 17 times a day just to make their point. And then they pass it off with an excuse like...
"Well, You just piss me off".
You know what they call that?
Self Denial.
Remember I said the first step to fixing your personal problems was to admit that....
They're your problems.
It ain't just limited to individuals either..... Organizations, Businesses, Companies - You name it..... Many function under a blanket of self-denial.
They don't even know the right questions to ask because....
They don't know what they don't know.
So what do people like this need?
A little understanding, a gentle voice, a helping hand, just a little TLC - Right?
Nope - They need a Wrecking Ball!
How do I know that?
Cause that's what I'm good at and that's how I make my living and unfortunately at times....
The way I conduct my personal life.
Let me explain.
In recent years, I have found a niche career that suits my talents and personality. I work for a small technical services company or for myself on short term assignments that usually involve me going into a burning building and putting out a fire (not literally - I'm not Tom)..... I'm a technical firefighter.
People call me when they are about to go under on a particular task or project and need a lot of help real fast.
You see - I have a few things going for me.
First of all, I have a pretty extensive background and foundation in all kinds of technical and functional work.... Notice I said "work". I know how to get work done - efficiently and without waste.
Second, I can go into just about any situation and listen to the "experts" involved for a relatively short period of time and within a subsequent short period of time, identify the following:
- What the situation is (Where We Are)
- What needs to be done (Where We Need to Go)
- What / How Many People, Equipment and Materials are required to get the job done (Resources that are needed)
- Schedule of Work (How Long it will Take)
This process usually requires me to get things turned around and moving in the right direction pretty quickly.
In essence, I have to go into a situation, take control of it and start building an effort that brings results.
Most of the time, it involves starting from scratch or taking some muted prior attempt at doing the job and telling the client....
"Look - I appreciate your effort.... but basically what you've been doing ain't working. That's why you were having problems. So - here's my plan. Please review it, edit it, tell me what you think.... We'll recycle this a couple of times and then let's get to work."
I don't really wanna hear all the moaning and groaning and office politics that went along with the failure of the prior effort..... I just wanna get it knocked out and move on.
As you can imagine, this type of work doesn't always bring about the warm and fuzzy feelings of congenial accomplishment that some jobs might provide.
I don't have time to develop relationships with people or figure out what tie to wear to win friends and influence people or the fact that Joe has this ego problem or Jane is getting a divorce or any of that BS.
Notice I said - "I don't have time".... because I cherry pick these assignments to be short term and saturated in nature. I go in, I shake things up, I get the job done and I get out before any built up bad feelings or political plans to derail or discredit me have time to develop.
I am a Wrecking Ball..... and a Quick Fix Artist.
I tear down a decaying building and put up a shiny new strip mall.... real quick.
Probably my greatest failing in life is that I tend to conduct my personal relationships the same way.
I'm pretty good at figuring out the low hanging fruit on the Tree of Opportunity for each person I get to know.
If you got a problem, I'm your man.... because in 2.2 seconds, I can identify it and tell you how to solve it and about 90% of the time, I'll be pretty close.
The problem with that is that most people don't want to solve their problems....
They just wanna bitch about 'em.
Well in that case.... I'm not your man.
Challenging for me as you might expect.
So what do I do about this little foible in my personality?
Let's make a run at this in terms of a Man - Woman relationship.
First of all, I just have to shut up.... that is very hard for me cause I always got something to say.
Guys - when your woman is bitching and hollering at you..... just STFU.
Don't cross your arms.... Don't get a stupid, disgusted look on your face.
Just sit there and maintain your composure and let her vent..... cause that's the only thing that's gonna make her feel better.
Second - Don't try to solve the problem. Don't tell her what she's doing wrong or what you're doing right to fix it. In fact, just tell her it's all your fault.... even if it's not. Hell - she's gonna blame it on you anyway so you might as well get credit for it.
Don't be a Wrecking Ball.... Be a Sounding Board.
Third - Give it Time. Holy Moly.... People are so Impatient. They expect complex and longstanding interpersonal problems to be solved overnight.
Fourth - Do Something Nice.... Rub her back or her feet. Instead of talking to the guys about the game the next day, call up the local florist and send her some flowers and just say.... "I'm Sorry.... I Love You".
Fifth - Plan Something to do with her.... a Dinner... a Long Walk.... a Romantic Comedy.... anything that puts the two of you together so you can focus on her.
Sixth - I don't know.... You take it from here.
Do as I say not as I do.
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