It's All About Image and Attitude

So how did your day go?

My hope and wish is that you gave it your best and you were happy with the way it turned out.

As you know I started my day with a walk around my subdivision and the beautiful site of a herd of Whitetail Deer as the Sun broke over the trees.

Then I threw myself at some housework and knocked that out.

I then did work on my #1 priority for the day which was getting my 19 year old daughter signed up for classes at the local Junior College, Brazosport College.

Based on my earlier post, you could tell that was gonna be a challenge and my lively lovely daughter did not disappoint.

After a brief but sharp conversation over the phone emphasizing the priority of her getting her ass to the college to sign up for the classes followed by a firm but fatherly text message threatening her with God Knows What, she went and got 'er done and signed up for 6 hours  of basics for the Summer I session at BC.

What do I have strapped to my chest? An f'g sign that says "Give me drama or give me death!".
Please God - Spare me both - I've got my own life to live.

Then I did a little more research and made a commitment....

To a flight from Houston to Seattle on Saturday June 9th.

Why you ask?

Because I'm doing Seattle to San Diego on my bicycle Baby!

That's right - you heard it here.

I'm gonna rip 1800 miles on the Pacific Coast of the United States from the top to the bottom on a self supporting bicycle tour on my Trek 3700.

1800 miles in 36 - 40 days.

Man - it feels good to say that.

It's the beginning of a Dream Come True.

More details to come on later posts.

So once that little decision was made I went and got my truck inspected which was kinda interesting.

I've had my truck inspected at the same place for the last 10 years. It's changed hands several times during that time but it's still in the same place.... Funny how that works....

So's anyways, I get there and the mechanic says "You'll have to wait. The Boss Lady went to get something to eat".

Which I seem to hear more and more these days.

Not that the Boss went to lunch....

But that the Boss is a Lady.

Whatever - I sit down and light a smoke on my pipe and jam the headphones in my ears and jam a little Lenny Kravitz into the headphones and kinda go into Coma mode.

Until this Vietnamese chick appears in front of me and her mouth is moving but nothing is coming out cause the only thing coming in to my ears is Lenny.... Until I hit the Pause button and all of a sudden this Vietnamese chick is speaking perfect English and is asking me for the key to my truck which makes perfect sense cause she's the Boss Lady and she's back from lunch and she's gonna inspect my truck.

Works for me.

So I hand her my key.

And she walks over to my truck, my shiny red Ford F-150 with the new Cooper tires and the shiny mags, and she opens the door and she calls the poor mechanic grunt over and starts talking to him and I can't hear a word they're saying cause I done hit the Go button on my headphones and American Woman is blaring in my ears which is kinda ironic cause I'm watching this Vietnamese lady yapping and gesturing about my truck and I'm thinking "Okay, WTF is wrong with my truck and how much is this gonna cost me?".

Anyway, she comes over and gives me a once over top to bottom cause I'm wearing my Cocksucker Cowboy hat and a dark set of wraparound Veratti safety sunglasses and a pair of shorts and shirt that basically says "Don't f*&! with me cause I don't give a shit!".

So this lady says "You have a stick shift and my legs are too short".

I just looked at her.

Then she says "You'll have to drive the truck for the test drive and I'll ride with you".

Well that's a first. Can do.

So I jump in the truck with the Vietnamese boss lady and she proceeds to tell me exactly where to go.

Hell - I'm used to this. So I just point the old Ford between the 2 poles and out of the garage parking lot onto a little side street behind the Inspection Station.

I take a left and she says we're gonna do a brake check. I was kinda expecting that.

So I'm easing along doing about 20 and she says "Stomp on the brakes!"....

So I stomped on the brakes and threw me and her against the safety belts and threw my Atlas and my notebook and half of my Keurig brewed iced tea onto the washout interior of my F-150.

She hollers "I said STEP on the Brakes NOT STOMP on the Brakes" and she busies herself with cleaning the tea off my floor cause I guess it's like born into Vietnamese chicks to clean up after stupid American rednecks.

So anyways we make it back to the Inspection Station without further incident and I pull the truck into the Inspection Bay and get out and she gets out and walks around the truck and first thing I notice is this ain't no short Vietnamese chick.

Hell - she's about 5'6" and got long skinny legs....

So I take off my Cocksucker Cowboy hat and scratch my head and just walk away.

I was just there to get my truck inspected.

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